How to Deal with Negative Emotions

The obsessive thoughts. The consuming lies. The ever-present ache in my heart.

I felt completely helpless to change my circumstances, but I also felt so far from God. I struggled to appropriately deal with the negative emotions that I felt—probably because I craved constant happiness and believed that I was entitled to it. I couldn’t see a way out of the downward spiral that my life had become.

A Hard Truth for Me

The main reason that I was stuck in a downward spiral was because I was believing Satan’s lies and expecting God to silence him. I understood that God had the power and authority to put an end to Satan’s deceptive schemes and deliver me from them. I wanted Him to make Satan disappear—and ultimately make my emotional agony disappear.

If God is good, He’ll save me from this mess. If He loves me, He’ll free me from this prison cell. If He wants the best for me, He’ll help me be happy again.

But that’s not what He did.

I passionately hated my negative emotions because I failed to understand that they’re simply a result of the Fall. They’re not easy to manage, but they’re normal. Their presence in my life isn’t an indication of God’s love (or lack of love) for me.

A Hard Truth for You

Friends, I want you to make this important realization now (in case you haven’t already): All of us are going to struggle with negative emotions—most likely on a daily basis.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t get easier as we get older. In fact, our hardships often become harder. For example, the pain that we experience when people break our hearts is much more painful than the pain that we experienced when we fell off our bikes as children. Our emotions generally become more intense and last longer as we grow up.

But even though our emotions—especially our negative emotions—are more challenging to deal with now, I want you to know that our emotions don’t have to control us. They’re not sinful. After all, Jesus had emotions (including negative emotions like anger and sadness) during His life on Earth. Ultimately, our emotions can lead us into sin—or toward Him:

• Anger can lead us to become impatient with others or to pray for patience and peace.
• Sadness can lead us to believe that God’s promises aren’t true or to trust them more deeply.
• Despair can lead us to complain about our circumstances or to recall the faithfulness of God.
• Desire can lead us to envy others or to be thankful for what we have.
• Even happiness can lead us to become self-centered or to serve others who are suffering.

A Choice for You and Me

Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth; walk in the ways of your heart, and in the sight of your eyes; but know that for all these God will bring you into judgment. (Ecclesiastes 11:9 NKJV)

Even though Solomon (the writer of Ecclesiastes) was the wisest man who ever lived, he often followed his heart. Still, he wanted his readers to be aware that if they followed their hearts, they would suffer the consequences.

Our emotions spring from our hearts, so if we follow our hearts, we follow our emotions. But as I noted earlier, we don’t have to allow our hearts—and our emotions—to control us; we can control them. When we have different emotions—whether they’re good or bad—we can choose to give in to sin or to lean into Him.