If I Let You Go

Sigh.

Recently, a sister in Christ (lovingly) pointed out my unhealthy attachment to one of my friends, Maddy.* But it hurt my pride when she told me, and my heart broke a little. My fear of losing control kicked in, and my heart started to summersault.

She noticed that I’m too close to Maddy? I started to panic. What does that mean for me? Do I have to spend less time with Maddy and communicate less often with her? Then she’ll spend more time with her other friends and forget about me!

Yes, even as a young adult who should perhaps be more confident, I’m incredibly insecure. I’m afraid that if I loosen my grip on Maddy, she’ll become less close with me and become closer to her other friends. Ultimately, if I don’t grasp the reigns of our relationship, I’m scared it will become shallow…and perhaps even nonexistent.

I’m not saying that I’m going to let go of my relationship with Maddy. But grasping this relationship so tightly is making me exhausted. So who should I grasp instead? This poem answers that question.

 

If I let you go,
Who will be my new home?

 

If I loosen my grip,
Who will anchor my ship?

 

If I let you move on,
Who will keep my heart calm?

 

If I empty my hands,
Who will fill them again?

 

If I watch you leave,
Who will stay beside me?

 

If I share your love,
Who will replace the sum?

 

If I give you up,
Who will say I’m enough?

 

The choice to let go
Is the choice to say no.

 

The choice to say no
Is the choice to follow.

 

The choice to follow
Is the choice to have hope—

 

With hands that are free
And a heart that is light,

 

With a smile that’s real
And clear eyes that have sight,

 

With arms that are open
And legs that run wild,

 

With the One holding me
Who calls me His child.

 

“Ho! Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat. Yes, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and let your soul delight itself in abundance. Incline your ear, and come to Me. Hear, and your soul shall live; and I will make an everlasting covenant with you—the sure mercies of David...Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, and He will have mercy on him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon. (Isaiah 55:1-3, 6-7 NKJV)

 

*Name has been changed.

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