If you grew up in church, you’ve probably heard the song “Amazing Grace” more times than you can count. It’s definitely a staple hymn, yet there have been so many versions and renditions of it produced. Honestly, over the years, the words of this hymn have lost their meaning for me.
Actually, the words never really felt meaningful to me.
Blind Enough to See
When I asked Jesus to come into my heart when I was four years old, I didn’t feel like a wretch. I didn’t feel lost. I didn’t feel blind.
It’s true that I was a lost, blind wretch when I was four years old. I was born with a sin nature, and my parents can testify that I followed it often. But cutting the blinds in my house with Play-Doh scissors (yes, I did that) doesn’t feel very naughty in comparison to the sins I’ve committed since I gave my heart to Jesus.
I wasn’t supposed to feel like such a wretch after Jesus saved me. I wasn’t supposed to feel so lost after Christ found me. I wasn’t supposed to feel so blind after God made me see.
Was Christianity supposed to be like this?
Still Wretched Without Him
“And to the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write, ‘These things says the Amen, the Faithful and True Witness, the Beginning of the creation of God: “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth. Because you say, ‘I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing’—and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked—I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne. “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” ’ ” (Revelation 3:14-22 NKJV, emphasis mine)
The words of “Amazing Grace” never sound as sweet to me as I know they should. I should be in complete awe of God’s grace, especially when I recognize the sin in my life right now, but I’m not. Even though I know Jesus suffered on the cross to save me. Even though I know I am a sinner. Even though I know He offers me redemption.
But my emotional response (or lack of an emotional response) to His grace doesn’t change His grace.
Friend, take heart that your feelings do not determine the truth. Be encouraged that every moment you do feel like a lost, blind wretch is a moment God can use to draw you closer to Himself. But also be encouraged that every moment you don’t feel like a lost, blind wretch is still a moment God can use to draw you closer to Himself. Trust that only He holds the gold to make you completely wealthy, the garments to make you completely clothed, and the salve to make you completely see.
By the way, I highly recommend this song by Hillsong United. (It’s the short version!) This blog post was inspired by that song, which is so beautiful and eye-opening. I hope you enjoy listening to it.