I was gonna be the girl who sipped lattes in vibey coffee shops as she wrote book drafts.
I was gonna be the girl who was approached by a publisher because they fell in love with her and her story.
I was gonna be the girl who signed a book contract right after college graduation.
I was gonna be the girl who had speaking engagements lined up across the United States.
I was gonna be the girl who made a killer salary as a successful writer for Christian magazines.
I was gonna be the girl who had thousands of blog followers after a few short years of blogging.
That Was the Girl I Was Gonna Be…Instead, This Is the Girl I Am
I am the girl who has drunk orange juice in a noisy coffee shop as she plunked keys, stared at couples, and lost motivation.
I am the girl who has approached multiple literary agents and has been either rejected or ignored by all of them.
I am the girl who has yet to sign a book contract but severely envies those who have.
I am the girl who has spoken at a single campus event where students stared at their phones and chatted with their friends.
I am the girl who has made approximately $60 as an unknown writer for one Christian magazine.
I am the girl who has only hundreds of blog followers after 5+ long years of blogging.
This Is the Girl You Were Gonna Be…Instead, This Is the Girl You Are
You were the girl who was gonna go to culinary school and become a chef in NYC after you finished the program. Instead, you are the girl who works as a waitress at a local diner.
You were the girl who was gonna take ballet lessons through college and become a prima ballerina. Instead, you are the girl who is scheduled for knee surgery and works as a gym admin assistant.
You were the girl who was gonna learn floristry and open a cute florist shop. Instead, you are the girl who mows lawns and trims thorny bushes for your brother’s landscaping business.
You were the girl who was gonna polish her musical talent and become a popular artist. Instead, you are the girl who shares YouTube videos that get about 20 views each.
You were the girl who was gonna major in Exercise & Health Science and eventually open your own physical therapy practice. Instead, you are the girl who massages your hubby’s feet after he runs and your own feet after you walk.
You were the girl who was gonna attend Johns Hopkins and become a world-class pediatrician. Instead, you are the girl who wipes snotty noses and sticks Band-Aids on bruised knees at daycare.
Life Will Probably (Not) Turn Out the Way You Expect
You know that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with waitressing, working at a gym, landscaping with your brother, making YouTube videos, doing therapy on your family members, or playing with daycare kids. But you didn’t expect life to turn out this way. You didn’t think your dreams would get crushed so soon.
What did you want to be when you grew up? And what did you end up becoming when you grew up? This is what I realized recently: Wow, I’m grown up now…and I’m not what I wanted to be.
That’s a really bitter pill to swallow for us dreamers to swallow. We expect a lot from ourselves, and when we don’t meet our high expectations, we feel like failures. Our dreams were great, but so is our disappointment. I have to believe that there’s a reason for our disappointment…that we didn’t become what we wanted to be when we grew up for some purpose.
Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:20-21 NASB)
First of all, there’s still time for you to become what you wanted to be when you grew up. Your dreams don’t have to die. You can keep pursuing them, friends.
Second of all, God may have better plans for you than becoming what you wanted to be when you grew up. There’s a time to dream new dreams. You can let go of the old dreams, friends.
God is working in your life now—whether you’re a famous rock star or an unknown retail cashier. Don’t give up on Him because life turned out differently than you had originally planned. Your dreams may still happen, but His plans for you are bigger than any of your dreams.