I know that I recently wrote you a letter about accepting your single status but admitting that singleness is hard. But there’s something else that’s just as important that I need to share with you. I truly believe that you are single. For. A. Reason. So, Single Girl, please find purpose in whatever you do while you wait to date and get married.
Friends, I know singleness isn't easy. It's nobody's fault that you're un-dated, un-engaged, and un-married. But patience isn't becoming easier. Instead, feelings of loneliness, disappointment, and curiosity, and fear are becoming easier. What's a girl to do?
You can skip out on the events, miss the adventures, and avoid the opportunities because maybe just maybe that guy will ask you to go with him. Or you can go to the events, tag along on the adventures, and take advantage of the opportunities because you—as a single individual—still matter and still have a significant purpose to fulfill.
It doesn’t make sense, does it? I know that you’re trying to make sense of why you’re still alone. Why no one has wanted you. Why no one has touched you. Why no one has dared utter your name—except to criticize you or order a cheeseburger and fries combo meal.
You’re not trying to be haughty or self-centered. You just want to know: God, why not me? And God, why her?
While I do believe that women are called to modesty (both in heart and in clothing choices), I also believe there should be a shift away from the idea that lust is a guys-only sin. Because if we treat lust like a guys-only sin, then girls will either not feel convicted of their lust or they will feel alone in their struggle. Neither of those things is okay.
I know so many people who have rushed into marriage with the wrong person because they wanted to be married or thought that they should be married at a certain age or stage of life. You aren’t just with the person you marry for now but for a lifetime.
Don’t be in a rush to get married. This sounds so simple, but there’s a reason that Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7 to not seek after marriage. In singleness, you have so much freedom to serve others and spread the gospel that can never be achieved again. So don’t waste your singleness pining after marriage. Make the most of this time.
As my friends sort through their romantic relationships—whether married, engaged, dating, or almost-dating—I sort through my feelings of emptiness, loneliness, and despair. I cling to my unwantedness like a beloved toy. It feels wrong to cling so tightly to such an ugly feeling, but I can’t seem to let go. All I want to know is this: Am I wanted?
Before you assume that I’m saying it is sinful to write letters to your future husband, I promise that’s not what this post means. For me, it could lead to sin. For you, it may lead to positive things, like gratitude or submission to God’s will. And that’s amazing! Just don’t forget to be on guard against sexual, unrealistic, or discontented longings.
Many young Christian women are on one end of the spectrum or the other when it comes to seeking guys’ attention. They often either quietly attempt to repress their desire for it or boldly communicate it through their words and actions. Neither extreme is good. We can't overcome our craving for a husband—and that’s largely because of the Fall.
I want you to know that you’re normal. You’re not the only one who’s never had a “real” relationship. There are other girls out there just like you—and I’m one of them.
God knows I need time to grow in Him before I can get close to any guy. And that’s how I’ve tasted His goodness. Though I've been treating Him like a villain for not allowing anyone to ask me out, I've actually been living in His mercy.
I fantasize about love because, deep down in my soul, I don’t actually believe I will get to know it. Yes, it is real for other people—but not for me. I have been given access as an observer, but not a partaker.
I almost got married last night.
In my dreams, of course. When I woke up this morning, I realized I had had a devastating, awful nightmare...the groom didn’t show up at my wedding.