Dear Single Girl, today was a hard day. A really, really, really hard day. Your best friend—who’s been your best friend since kindergarten—got engaged today.
Dear Future Husband, I’m writing this letter to you because I want you to know that I have high expectations for you. I don’t want to trudge through decades of singleness and end up with a subpar husband. However, I also want you to know that my expectations for you are reasonable. By the way, you should probably have reasonable expectations for me as well…because I’m pretty broken.
If I could only tell you one thing, it wouldn’t be “I hope this relationship works out for you” or “I’m sure he’s a great guy, so living with him is okay” or “God hates you for doing this.” Nope. None of those things are true. Instead, I would tell you this: “You can leave your boyfriend at any time. In fact, please do. Absolutely nothing obligates you to stay with him.”
Sean, I can’t keep waiting for you to notice me. I can’t have you, and I simply have to accept that. I’m mostly hopeful that the future is bright…for both of us. Here are a few things you should know before we part ways.
I know that I recently wrote you a letter about accepting your single status but admitting that singleness is hard. But there’s something else that’s just as important that I need to share with you. I truly believe that you are single. For. A. Reason. So, Single Girl, please find purpose in whatever you do while you wait to date and get married.
Friends, I know singleness isn't easy. It's nobody's fault that you're un-dated, un-engaged, and un-married. But patience isn't becoming easier. Instead, feelings of loneliness, disappointment, and curiosity, and fear are becoming easier. What's a girl to do?
You can skip out on the events, miss the adventures, and avoid the opportunities because maybe just maybe that guy will ask you to go with him. Or you can go to the events, tag along on the adventures, and take advantage of the opportunities because you—as a single individual—still matter and still have a significant purpose to fulfill.
It doesn’t make sense, does it? I know that you’re trying to make sense of why you’re still alone. Why no one has wanted you. Why no one has touched you. Why no one has dared utter your name—except to criticize you or order a cheeseburger and fries combo meal.
You’re not trying to be haughty or self-centered. You just want to know: God, why not me? And God, why her?
While I do believe that women are called to modesty (both in heart and in clothing choices), I also believe there should be a shift away from the idea that lust is a guys-only sin. Because if we treat lust like a guys-only sin, then girls will either not feel convicted of their lust or they will feel alone in their struggle. Neither of those things is okay.