So many things have happened over the past five years. But one thing hasn’t changed in five years: I still want to be a writer. I still want to get a book deal. I still want to see my name on the front cover. I still want to be famous.
In approximately eight months, I’ll likely join the billions of people working 9-5 (ish) jobs. I’ll collapse on the couch when I get home from the office. I’ll solely look forward to Fridays. I’ll talk too much with my coworkers about the “amazing” lunch I packed. And I’ll completely forget about my dreams because I’ll be spending my days in a lonely cubicle and spending my nights recovering from the workday. That's why I'm so scared about graduating from college.
Sure, the lack of toilet paper, the constant mask-wearing, and the frequent boredom are irritating. But perhaps the deeper—and subtler—reason we hate COVID-19 is because it wasn’t part of our plan.
My excitement about going home for spring break turned into nervousness about the unknown for the rest of the semester. I hate the unknown. That’s why I’m most concerned about the coronavirus. Because I don't know when I can resume my normal life again.
Even though Saul’s sin upset Samuel, God told Samuel it was time to stop grieving Saul’s sin. This is an incredible reminder for us that we aren’t meant to carry others’ sins (or the consequences) for them. Whether or not they've repented, they have to bear the consequences of their sins. You can’t bear those consequences for them.
I should be okay with hearing the word “no” when I expected to hear the word “yes.” But I’m not. I am surprised (not in the good way), and I am worried about the implications of that “no.”
I felt weary and distant from God, and I felt apathetic about my circumstances. I know that feeling a certain way isn’t necessarily a choice...but following our feelings is a choice. And it has consequences.
Even though disappointment hit me hard recently, that doesn’t mean I have an excuse to curl up in a ball and pout. God is working in ways I can’t always observe or understand, but His plan is at work. He can use me—and you—even in our disappointment.