Yes, from Day One, He had been walking with me through the book publication journey—from compiling my messy thoughts in a Word document that eventually turned into a manuscript to submitting book proposals and query letters to signing a book contract to preparing Real Recovery for publication to becoming an officially published author with reviews on Amazon and speaking opportunities in churches and schools. Somehow, though, none of that seemed to matter to me when I thought about the fact that I wasn’t speaking at national and international conferences…or writing for magazines with thousands of readers…or having book signings at every bookstore across the United States. The opportunities that God had provided thus far didn’t feel like enough. I didn’t feel like enough.
Think of this post as a letter from God to you. Obviously, His real letter to us is His Word. But I felt like God was sharing these things with me when I was let down recently. He spoke words of comfort, assurance, and strength when I felt distressed, insecure, and weary.
I know God never promised that I would marry Sean or that I would become a published author or that I would find the perfect church. And He never promised that you would accomplish _____ goal or have _____ desire met. But that doesn’t mean His back is turned away from you. In fact, the opposite is true.
Friend, take heart that your feelings do not determine the truth. Be encouraged that every moment you do feel like a lost, blind wretch is a moment God can use to draw you closer to Himself. But also be encouraged that every moment you don’t feel like a lost, blind wretch is still a moment God can use to draw you closer to Himself.
I knew my mom had been in excruciating pain for the past year and a half. Her tongue cancer made it difficult for her to swallow. But until today when I saw how long it took for her to undergo radiation and chemo, I didn’t understand how much pain she really felt.
The following is written from God's perspective, not my own. Of course, I'm not trying to put words in His mouth or add to the Bible. These words are just my ideas of what He might tell you if you are...
I believe God has convicted me that, deep down in my soul, I treasure these people and things more than Him. Yes, I still know Him. Yes, I still love Him. Yes, I still belong to Him. But I've been chasing my fleshly desires.
Church…blah, blah, blah.
Bible study…blah, blah, blah.
Prayer…blah, blah, blah.
Worship…blah, blah, blah.
Quiet time…blah, blah, blah.
Do you ever feel like you’re living a blah spiritual life?
I definitely do. I’ve been a Christian since I was a little girl, so I’ve learned how I should act and what I should do as a Christian. But sometimes I feel tired of doing the "right" things.
I wanted to be freed from the constant lies I heard in my mind and the constant insecurity I felt in my heart. My desires seemed perfectly acceptable. Nothing is wrong with desiring heaven, right? However, I realized that I had fallen into a common trap. I was longing for the peace of heaven but not the Maker of heaven.