When I try to find satisfaction in people and things, all I feel is the emptiness in my soul that screams, “More, more, more!” And we were made for more, dear friends. In fact, we were made for eternity with our all-satisfying, all-fulfilling, all-completing Savior. He won’t leave you longing for more. In the perfect home God created us for, there will be no unsatisfied longings.
As my friends sort through their romantic relationships—whether married, engaged, dating, or almost-dating—I sort through my feelings of emptiness, loneliness, and despair. I cling to my unwantedness like a beloved toy. It feels wrong to cling so tightly to such an ugly feeling, but I can’t seem to let go. All I want to know is this: Am I wanted?
I want you to know that you’re normal. You’re not the only one who’s never had a “real” relationship. There are other girls out there just like you—and I’m one of them.
I know I’m not the only one who struggles with swimsuit season—whether it’s figuring out how modesty is involved, picking a swimsuit that's cute and trendy, or determining who we’re trying to impress—the hot lifeguard or our great aunt. With that being said, perhaps you can relate some of the fears I’ve experienced pre- and post-swimsuit season.
I know what it feels like to be the outsider looking in. So that's what this poem is about—watching your friends start dating, get married, and have families. This poem is about feeling stuck on the sidelines and wondering how long you'll be waiting. But the waiting isn't meaningless. You'll see why.
Unfortunately, we’re still riding this crazy rollercoaster of change. That’s why we as young adults need to hear the truth from our ministry leaders during this time. We can’t change our circumstances, but we can change our perspective. Thankfully, you can help us do that.
Our relationship—or, rather, the fantasy of our relationship—became the thing I depended on. Not God’s real love for me. Not His real faithfulness to me. Not His real truth for me. I was overly dependent on a fake love, a fictitious faithfulness, and a false truth.
As a young adult, Christmas isn’t the same. Entering the Christmas season means I’ll be forced to face all of the difficult things that I don’t want to face. Who knew Christmas could be so ugly? Why have I—and perhaps we—transformed a wonderful holiday into a dreadful time of year?