What did you want to be when you grew up? And what did you end up being when you grew up? This is what I realized recently: "Wow, I’m grown up now…and I’m not what I wanted to be."
I know you’re eager for all the suffering to end. Right. This. Second. But God doesn’t want us to get too comfortable in a place that isn’t our real home. We only have to rest for a little while longer.
I’ve entrusted my heart to way too many people in my life. Thus, way too many people have disappointed me. Although this is difficult to admit, it’s partially our fault when people disappoint us. They can only disappoint us if we put too much faith, hope, or trust in them. No one deserves our hearts except the One who created them and holds them tenderly.
I know that I almost allowed anorexia nervosa to ruin my life. Thankfully, God intervened. Perhaps you also realize that your eating disorder could’ve ruined your life. But also realize this: you are not your eating disorder.
I bet we would all say that we hope 2021 is better than 2020. But what if it’s not? What if 2021 is worse than 2020? My goal for this post is not to make you lose hope but to point you to a hope that we can’t lose.
I know how icky our emotions can seem at Christmastime. They bubble up and bubble over, and we panic. We don’t know what to do with these uncomfortable feelings, so we do anything and everything to not think about them. To brush them to the back of our minds. To forget they exist. And that seems to sort of work. At least temporarily. Until we are completely and utterly alone.
God's nature is persistent, strong, and steady. He doesn't leave. He doesn't give up. He doesn't wave. While I am not advocating habitual sin in this poem, I am advocating habitual returning to God's forgiveness.
I am not saying that God caused the coronavirus. I am saying that God allowed the coronavirus because He let sinful humans with a freewill choose to sin. (I won’t get into the blame game of who caused the coronavirus because that’s a discussion for another time.) As a pastor recently explained to me, the Fall caused a lot of unpleasant consequences for sinful humanity, including illness and death. But I believe God can still use this messy situation for good…if we let Him.
It doesn’t make sense, does it? I know that you’re trying to make sense of why you’re still alone. Why no one has wanted you. Why no one has touched you. Why no one has dared utter your name—except to criticize you or order a cheeseburger and fries combo meal.
You’re not trying to be haughty or self-centered. You just want to know: God, why not me? And God, why her?