Over four years ago (what the heck?), I wrote a post called “Are You Ready for a Romantic Relationship?” for Valentine’s Day. I described some reasons why readers might not be ready for a romantic relationship and then admitted that I wasn’t ready for a romantic relationship myself. Fast forward almost five years, and I figured that it was time to ask an even harder question: are you ready for marriage?
Yes, from Day One, He had been walking with me through the book publication journey—from compiling my messy thoughts in a Word document that eventually turned into a manuscript to submitting book proposals and query letters to signing a book contract to preparing Real Recovery for publication to becoming an officially published author with reviews on Amazon and speaking opportunities in churches and schools. Somehow, though, none of that seemed to matter to me when I thought about the fact that I wasn’t speaking at national and international conferences…or writing for magazines with thousands of readers…or having book signings at every bookstore across the United States. The opportunities that God had provided thus far didn’t feel like enough. I didn’t feel like enough.
People can be cruel, and Satan is always cruel to us. But when we call upon God, when we lean upon Him, and when we trust in Him, He will rescue us from the deepest waters.
I drove away from our church pondering the reality that I may never see my youth pastor or his family again. I can’t remember specific events that impacted me so much, but I do know that he and his family impacted my church and desired to draw us toward Christ. Are goodbyes supposed to be this hard?
In an instant, she was gone. One of the sweetest girls I’d met at college had suddenly vanished. I had no idea what happened to her. She didn’t respond to my texts. She didn’t let me know that she’d gotten my package in the mail. She didn’t even tell me that she wasn’t coming back to college for the spring semester. Something didn’t feel right about the situation.
After spending 12 days at camp (which is the longest amount of time I’ve ever been away from home), I realized something. I am not cut out for college.
Thankfully, I haven’t had to endure many goodbyes. I said goodbye to my grandfather before he passed away, I said goodbye to a close friend when she moved to another state, and I said goodbye to my sister when she headed off to college.
But now my home is taking a temporary trip to a distant land called “college.”
I wish I could stay in high school forever with my family, friends, and church family. Instead, I can prepare for college life—meeting new people, experiencing new things, and learning to juggle a new schedule. As I’ve mentioned multiple times on my blog, these upcoming experiences freak me out. A tiny part of me is excited, but the other part of me would rather crawl in a hole than go off to college.
His grace is enough. His power lives in us when we boast of our weaknesses. We can be satisfied living with struggles because He makes us strong when we are weak. Knowing this won’t make your troubles go away. It won’t make the stress of a math test or an irritating co-worker vanish into thin air. It won’t remove the pain from a health problem or from losing a loved one. But without this truth, we are hopeless.