Where God's Word Meets Our Mess
Chemistry is a concept that generally feels abstract and mysterious. It often involves people’s appearances, but it can also involve their personality types, their communication styles, and other aspects of who they are. Though it’s not very concrete, I believe it’s more significant than many Christians think.
“Thank God” and “The Good Ones” are a couple songs by Gabby Barrett that I really like. However, I’m not a fan of “I Hope.” The song’s lyrics—and Gabby’s tone while she sings them—reek of bitterness and contempt. Ironically, “I Hope” isn’t very hopeful at all.
Let’s say you meet a guy who professes to follow Jesus. He seems to have some great qualities, so when he asks you out, you say yes. You go out with him a few times, and you enjoy getting to know him. But you notice something about him that isn’t so great, and you wonder if perhaps he’s not as ready to date as you thought he was. Is it one of these five things?
Five years ago, I published a post called How I’ve Tasted God’s Goodness Through Not Having a Boyfriend. In that post, I talked about God’s kindness toward me in not giving me a boyfriend because (in short) I wasn’t ready for one. I suppose I could give this post the same name because it’s about losing James*. Although he wasn’t technically my boyfriend, he was the closest thing I’ve had to one. And through the painful experience of losing him, God has again let me taste His goodness.
So I ended Part 1 by sharing the first hard lesson I’ve learned from that relationship: Dating isn’t always fun and romantic. Though that lesson may seem very pessimistic, I shared it to ultimately encourage you to have low expectations about your future dating endeavors. I promise I’ll try to encourage you through the hard lessons I share in this post too.
Honestly, the past several weeks have been pretty terrible. The whole James experience has taught me many hard lessons about dating. Hopefully, the ones I share in this post will help you avoid some heartache as you navigate romantic relationships.
Though you’ve tried to avert your gaze from the red flags, you can’t help but see them whenever you’re with your boyfriend. At first, you thought he would recognize his flaws and work on them. But nothing has changed in the past three months. The red flags you saw on your first date are the same red flags you see now. And you’re worried they’ll be part of his life forever.
I’m going to be honest with you: I’ve never gone through a breakup, so I don’t know how much it hurts or how long it takes to feel better. But if you’ve broken up with your boyfriend and you regret it, my heart goes out to you. And my hope is that this post will encourage you to keep moving forward instead of turning back.
Even though I haven’t dated anyone, I’ve still had several broken hearts. It feels like unrequited love (i.e., falling for someone who doesn’t share my feelings) has been the theme of my single years. I’ve learned that having a formal relationship isn’t a prerequisite for getting a broken heart. Unfortunately, it’s incredibly easy to get one. If you’ve found that to be true too, this post is for you.
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 