Where God's Word Meets Our Mess
Let’s say you meet a guy who professes to follow Jesus. He seems to have some great qualities, so when he asks you out, you say yes. You go out with him a few times, and you enjoy getting to know him. But you notice something about him that isn’t so great, and you wonder if perhaps he’s not as ready to date as you thought he was. Is it one of these five things?
So I ended Part 1 by sharing the first hard lesson I’ve learned from that relationship: Dating isn’t always fun and romantic. Though that lesson may seem very pessimistic, I shared it to ultimately encourage you to have low expectations about your future dating endeavors. I promise I’ll try to encourage you through the hard lessons I share in this post too.
Honestly, the past several weeks have been pretty terrible. The whole James experience has taught me many hard lessons about dating. Hopefully, the ones I share in this post will help you avoid some heartache as you navigate romantic relationships.
I’m not going to pretend I’m an expert on dating apps because I’m not. I’m also not going to pretend the Bible addresses dating apps because it doesn’t. For those two reasons, I can’t say concretely that using dating apps is or isn’t wrong. However, I still have lots of thoughts and observations about this topic that will hopefully help guide you in your dating app decisions.
Maybe you’ve never dated anyone either—or you’ve dated very few people—and you’re afraid of doing the whole dating thing “wrong.” Unfortunately, your fears about dating seem to be getting worse, especially as you get older. As a fellow inexperienced dater, I want to share an encouraging truth with you that will hopefully help you conquer your fears about dating.
There are so many things God designed a man and woman to experience and enjoy in marriage, but this post just focuses on three of them. I do want to note that the unique characteristics of marriage included below are based on God’s intent for marriage. I realize some marriages are very challenging, dysfunctional, and/or brief. However, imperfect marriages exist because of the Fall, not because of a flaw in God’s design. With that in mind, let’s examine three major distinctions between marriage and friendship.
Several weeks ago, I listened to a podcast episode during which a pastor discussed a sermon he’d preached about true love. Ultimately, it seemed like he viewed marriage and friendship as equivalent. He treated them as substitutes—as if there are no major differences between them. But I was frustrated with his message because there are major differences between friendship and marriage, and honestly, that frustration fueled this post.
Though you’ve tried to avert your gaze from the red flags, you can’t help but see them whenever you’re with your boyfriend. At first, you thought he would recognize his flaws and work on them. But nothing has changed in the past three months. The red flags you saw on your first date are the same red flags you see now. And you’re worried they’ll be part of his life forever.
But even though I didn't meet my future husband at college, I don't regret not chasing guys while I was there. I know that singleness was the best thing for me then—and is the best thing for me right now—because I believe God's timing for my life is good. And I believe the same thing about His timing for yours, Single Girl.
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 