So I have this problem—a problem of pointless pursuits. Pointless pursuits have kind of been the theme of my life, at least my life in the last few years. I haven’t pursued empty things because people failed to warn me about the consequences. No, ignorance wasn’t the issue. My stubbornness was. But warnings are warnings for a reason. This post is my warning to you.
Oh, to be at peace with wherever God has placed us right now. Oh, to feel full of life, rather than full of resentment. Oh, to know that this season is not accidental or meaningless. What if I told you that you can?
I’ve entrusted my heart to way too many people in my life. Thus, way too many people have disappointed me. Although this is difficult to admit, it’s partially our fault when people disappoint us. They can only disappoint us if we put too much faith, hope, or trust in them. No one deserves our hearts except the One who created them and holds them tenderly.
So many things have happened over the past five years. But one thing hasn’t changed in five years: I still want to be a writer. I still want to get a book deal. I still want to see my name on the front cover. I still want to be famous.
In approximately eight months, I’ll likely join the billions of people working 9-5 (ish) jobs. I’ll collapse on the couch when I get home from the office. I’ll solely look forward to Fridays. I’ll talk too much with my coworkers about the “amazing” lunch I packed. And I’ll completely forget about my dreams because I’ll be spending my days in a lonely cubicle and spending my nights recovering from the workday. That's why I'm so scared about graduating from college.
Sure, the lack of toilet paper, the constant mask-wearing, and the frequent boredom are irritating. But perhaps the deeper—and subtler—reason we hate COVID-19 is because it wasn’t part of our plan.
My excitement about going home for spring break turned into nervousness about the unknown for the rest of the semester. I hate the unknown. That’s why I’m most concerned about the coronavirus. Because I don't know when I can resume my normal life again.
Even though Saul’s sin upset Samuel, God told Samuel it was time to stop grieving Saul’s sin. This is an incredible reminder for us that we aren’t meant to carry others’ sins (or the consequences) for them. Whether or not they've repented, they have to bear the consequences of their sins. You can’t bear those consequences for them.
I should be okay with hearing the word “no” when I expected to hear the word “yes.” But I’m not. I am surprised (not in the good way), and I am worried about the implications of that “no.”
I felt weary and distant from God, and I felt apathetic about my circumstances. I know that feeling a certain way isn’t necessarily a choice...but following our feelings is a choice. And it has consequences.
Even though disappointment hit me hard recently, that doesn’t mean I have an excuse to curl up in a ball and pout. God is working in ways I can’t always observe or understand, but His plan is at work. He can use me—and you—even in our disappointment.
We all struggle to find our identity in Christ alone. We all want to find our value in something we achieve, and we want others to notice our achievements. But Christ notices us—even without our achievements.
Homeschooler, if you ever think you’re weird or even abnormal for being homeschooled, stop. You’re not. You’re just different. And different can be a good thing.
What if—right now—we just need to rest in God and His perfect timing? What if we all learned to recognize that now may be a period of waiting—not dream-chasing?
In reality, it doesn’t matter what major I pick. It doesn’t matter whether I take 19 credits or 12 credits. It doesn’t matter whether I have 20 friends or 5 friends. It simply matters that I seek Christ. Above a college degree. Above a well-paying job. Above a lot of blog followers. Above a book contract. Above a certain number of friends.