Where God's Word Meets Our Mess
“Thank God” and “The Good Ones” are a couple songs by Gabby Barrett that I really like. However, I’m not a fan of “I Hope.” The song’s lyrics—and Gabby’s tone while she sings them—reek of bitterness and contempt. Ironically, “I Hope” isn’t very hopeful at all.
Let’s say you meet a guy who professes to follow Jesus. He seems to have some great qualities, so when he asks you out, you say yes. You go out with him a few times, and you enjoy getting to know him. But you notice something about him that isn’t so great, and you wonder if perhaps he’s not as ready to date as you thought he was. Is it one of these five things?
Five years ago, I published a post called How I’ve Tasted God’s Goodness Through Not Having a Boyfriend. In that post, I talked about God’s kindness toward me in not giving me a boyfriend because (in short) I wasn’t ready for one. I suppose I could give this post the same name because it’s about losing James*. Although he wasn’t technically my boyfriend, he was the closest thing I’ve had to one. And through the painful experience of losing him, God has again let me taste His goodness.
So I ended Part 1 by sharing the first hard lesson I’ve learned from that relationship: Dating isn’t always fun and romantic. Though that lesson may seem very pessimistic, I shared it to ultimately encourage you to have low expectations about your future dating endeavors. I promise I’ll try to encourage you through the hard lessons I share in this post too.
Honestly, the past several weeks have been pretty terrible. The whole James experience has taught me many hard lessons about dating. Hopefully, the ones I share in this post will help you avoid some heartache as you navigate romantic relationships.
I’m not going to pretend I’m an expert on dating apps because I’m not. I’m also not going to pretend the Bible addresses dating apps because it doesn’t. For those two reasons, I can’t say concretely that using dating apps is or isn’t wrong. However, I still have lots of thoughts and observations about this topic that will hopefully help guide you in your dating app decisions.
Maybe you’ve never dated anyone either—or you’ve dated very few people—and you’re afraid of doing the whole dating thing “wrong.” Unfortunately, your fears about dating seem to be getting worse, especially as you get older. As a fellow inexperienced dater, I want to share an encouraging truth with you that will hopefully help you conquer your fears about dating.
Seven years ago, I published a post called Are You Ready for a Romantic Relationship? right before Valentine’s Day. In that post, I shared a few indicators that someone might not be ready for a romantic relationship. But honestly, I didn’t focus enough on the most obvious (and significant) indicator that someone isn’t ready for a romantic relationship, so I'll do that in this post. Consider it a very delayed sequel.
Though you’ve tried to avert your gaze from the red flags, you can’t help but see them whenever you’re with your boyfriend. At first, you thought he would recognize his flaws and work on them. But nothing has changed in the past three months. The red flags you saw on your first date are the same red flags you see now. And you’re worried they’ll be part of his life forever.
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 