Where God's Word Meets Our Mess
Unfortunately, lies about friendship are sometimes believed by God’s people. I know this is true because I’ve fallen for them and allowed them to affect my life. Believing these lies certainly hurts our relationships with our friends, but it also hurts our relationships with God. I wrote this post to evaluate two specific lies about friendship so that we can realign our beliefs with the truth and understand how to approach friendship biblically.
In Part 1, I admitted that I carried many worries about the future with me throughout college. But I also worried about making friends during college. I wanted to ensure I made “enough” friends, which is honestly a silly thing to worry about because no one can determine how many friends is “enough.” And that’s exactly why I’m writing this post—to encourage you to take the pressure off yourself to make friends and instead trust God to provide.
There are so many things God designed a man and woman to experience and enjoy in marriage, but this post just focuses on three of them. I do want to note that the unique characteristics of marriage included below are based on God’s intent for marriage. I realize some marriages are very challenging, dysfunctional, and/or brief. However, imperfect marriages exist because of the Fall, not because of a flaw in God’s design. With that in mind, let’s examine three major distinctions between marriage and friendship.
Several weeks ago, I listened to a podcast episode during which a pastor discussed a sermon he’d preached about true love. Ultimately, it seemed like he viewed marriage and friendship as equivalent. He treated them as substitutes—as if there are no major differences between them. But I was frustrated with his message because there are major differences between friendship and marriage, and honestly, that frustration fueled this post.
I was 13 years old when my friend Alexis* moved away. Losing her was really hard because I’d grown up with her. We’d attended the same church and the same homeschool groups, and we’d even played soccer on the same team. But Alexis isn’t the only friend I’ve lost in my life. Many of my friends have been “friends for a season.” Even though it’s not fun when a friendship ends, it’s not unusual.
Single Girl, if you have a friend who is engaged, please don’t despair. Instead, make the conscious choice to love her well throughout this special season of her life. Here are three ways to do that.
My friends from home and I sometimes stayed in touch, but other friendships fell by the wayside. There were no “friend breakups” or anything dramatic like that. But I definitely had to come to terms with the idea that God sometimes brings people into our lives for a season—and when they leave (or we leave), that’s an opportunity to form friendships with new people instead of a reason to throw a pity party for every single friendship that ends.
Today wasn’t hard because your best friend’s fiancé is a loser. In fact, the opposite is true. He loves Jesus, he has an amazing job, and he’s super tan. Nor was today hard because your best friend’s going to move across the country to live with her fiancé after they tie the knot. In fact, the opposite is true—they’re going to live in the area and make a cute little family here. The real reason that today was hard was because—as selfish as you know it sounds—your forehead got stamped with the bolded black word “alone.”
Loneliness is rampant in our culture, and the COVID-19 pandemic only made it worse. I've personally experienced loneliness at different times in my life, and it's really rough. However, thankfully, we aren't helpless regarding loneliness. If you're experiencing loneliness, ask yourself the following questions to see what you can do to lessen it.
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