Dear Single Girl, You’re Not Alone—Even When Your Best Friend Gets Engaged

Dear Single Girl,

Today was a hard day. A really, really, really hard day.

Your best friend—who’s been your best friend since kindergarten—got engaged today.

Today wasn’t hard because your best friend’s fiancé is a loser. In fact, the opposite is true. He loves Jesus, he has an amazing job, and he’s super tan. A real winner.

Nor was today hard because your best friend’s going to move across the country to live with her fiancé after they tie the knot. In fact, the opposite is true. They’re going to live in the area. And make a cute little family here.

The real reason that today was hard was because—as selfish as you know it sounds—your forehead got stamped with the bolded black word “Alone.”

As soon as your best friend says, “I do,” she’ll no longer understand what it’s like to be single because only single girls truly know what it’s like to be single. And, on top of that, when your best friend walks down the aisle, she’ll have no idea that she’s the reason you’re alone. You’ll be guy-less and best-friend-less. Thanks to her.

Your life changed when your best friend started dating her now-fiancé. But your life will be radically transformed when she marries him.

She Won’t Understand You Anymore

When she watches Pride and Prejudice, she’ll be looking at her adoring husband with contentment. You’ll be wondering what it’s like to have such admiration for a man and to have such admiration from a man.

When she walks her dog in the park, she’ll be observing all the adorable kids and planning when to have them with her hubby. You’ll be wondering what it’s like to know a man so intimately that you can have little human beings with him.

When she cooks dinner, she’ll be adjusting the recipe for two people to share instead of six. You’ll be wondering how it’s possible to transform a “serves six” recipe into a “serves one lonely eater” recipe.

When she meets you for coffee, she’ll be thinking about how her husband faithfully makes her coffee before work every morning. You’ll be wondering why no one wakes up early to make you coffee. Ever.

When she holds her husband’s hand during church, she’ll be smiling as she leans her head on his shoulder. You’ll be wondering when you’ll have an opportunity to even touch someone of the male species. 

But This Isn’t About You

Single girl, I know you’re not going to like what I’m about to tell you. I just have to tell you this because I’ve been in your shoes before. I get you. I understand how difficult this is.

But you need to be there for your bestie.

Agree to be her maid of honor. Throw her a bridal shower. Buy your dress and shoes. Go to her bachelorette party. Purchase a gift for her. Show up at the wedding with a smile. Ask about her honeymoon when she returns. Meet up with her once she gets settled into married life.

Though I’m sure your best friend is very excited about getting married, I know she’s also incredibly anxious about it. She has to plan her wedding, find a new home, and simply adjust to the idea of being married. She needs you right now. Don’t evaporate into a puddle of tears just yet.  

As much as you want this engagement to be about you, don’t make it about you. Sure, you can cry after the bridal shower…and the rehearsal dinner…and the wedding reception. But don’t let your heart—as broken as it may feel—grow hard toward your best friend. Keep loving her, just like you always have.

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. (Romans 12:9-10 ESV)

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