Real Recovery: What Eating Disorder Recovery Actually Looks Like is officially two years old! But this isn’t just a celebratory post; it’s also an advisory post. Really, this post is my encouragement to you to start your eating disorder recovery journey. But I want you to know a couple specific things—things I discuss in Real Recovery—as you start this important journey:
False Expectation #1: Once I start to recover, I will not mind gaining weight.
For about two years, I believed everything my eating disorder (or “Ed,” as I lovingly refer to him) told me about myself. When I started recovering, I continued listening to Ed—and he told me I was going to become a fat sumo wrestler if I regained the weight I’d spent the last two years trying to lose. Regaining weight was a major mental and emotional struggle for me. I didn’t understand how desperately I needed to regain that weight—or why I still had such nasty thoughts about my body.
Real Recovery Expectation #1: Once I start to recover, I will let myself gain weight.
I quickly learned that recovering wasn’t going to be fun, easy, or simple. I just had to let myself—i.e., give myself permission to—gain the weight I needed to gain. I had to loosen my grip on several things during my eating disorder recovery journey, including my grip on the number on the scale—and that’s exactly what you need to do, too. You don’t have to enjoy the process of gaining weight or losing weight (depending on what kind of eating disorder you’re recovering from); you simply have to give yourself permission to do it!
False Expectation #2: Food will become my best friend.
Food was definitely my worst enemy while I had anorexia. Whenever I was offered something to eat, Ed whispered, “That will make you fat.” I developed an intense fear of food—which made my recovery extremely difficult. When my nutritionist explained how many food groups (and how much food in those food groups) needed to be included in my daily diet, I literally started sobbing in her office. Over time, it became easier to meet my nutritionist’s guidelines for my diet—but lots of foods still scared me.
Real Recovery Expectation #2: Food will no longer be my worst enemy.
With the help of several medical professionals and my supportive family, I gradually made progress in how I viewed food—both food I deemed “safe” and food I deemed “scary.” My approach to food became more balanced. And as one of my counselors told me, balance is what life—and eating—is all about. For example, you don’t have to eat _____ (insert a “scary” food) for every meal for the rest of your life; but you also don’t have to refuse to eat it every time someone offers it to you. Try to have a balanced approach to food. Even the foods that seem scary now can eventually become some of your favorites.
Final Thoughts
If you want to discover eight more things that you should know before you start your eating disorder recovery journey, you can find out by clicking here! I also highly recommend you schedule an appointment with a Christian counselor and an appointment with a knowledgeable nutritionist. Find someone to hold you accountable in your recovery journey. It’s time to walk in the light, friends.
For you have rescued me from death; you have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in your presence, O God, in your life-giving light. (Psalm 56:13 NLT)
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