Where God's Word Meets Our Mess
Honestly, I’m not saying cynicism is a bad thing. I actually advocate it to some degree because biblical principles like wisdom often accompany it. However, I realize cynicism can result in callousness, so I want to approach the topic of guarding our hearts with that in mind. Here are a couple ways to take a cautious—but not cold—approach to romantic relationships.
I’ve seen it more times than I can count—the girl who decides to take matters into her own hands when she loves a guy who’s ambivalent toward her or even uninterested in her. She makes excuses for his lack of initiation, claiming he’s just too nervous or too shy to take the lead. So she takes the lead instead. She seeks him out, talks to him, flirts with him, texts him, and asks him out. But deep down, it’s unsatisfying because she wants what every girl wants—to be chased.
I’m not going to sugarcoat it: Being ghosted is hard. The rejection combined with the lack of closure makes it a very unfun experience. It definitely happens on dating apps, but yours truly can attest that (unfortunately) it also happens beyond the dating apps. No matter how you were ghosted, though, I want you to know you can get through it. In last week’s post, I shared two radical truths to help you process the experience and move forward. Here are a few more radical truths you should also keep in mind.
I know James isn’t the right guy for me (or even a good guy in general), but it’s been super hard to get over him and what he’s done to me. Perhaps you, too, have been ghosted and can’t seem to move on. I completely understand your struggle, and I have five hope-filled truths to share with you during this post-ghost season that might surprise you.
“Thank God” and “The Good Ones” are a couple songs by Gabby Barrett that I really like. However, I’m not a fan of “I Hope.” The song’s lyrics—and Gabby’s tone while she sings them—reek of bitterness and contempt. Ironically, “I Hope” isn’t very hopeful at all.
Let’s say you meet a guy who professes to follow Jesus. He seems to have some great qualities, so when he asks you out, you say yes. You go out with him a few times, and you enjoy getting to know him. But you notice something about him that isn’t so great, and you wonder if perhaps he’s not as ready to date as you thought he was. Is it one of these five things?
Five years ago, I published a post called How I’ve Tasted God’s Goodness Through Not Having a Boyfriend. In that post, I talked about God’s kindness toward me in not giving me a boyfriend because (in short) I wasn’t ready for one. I suppose I could give this post the same name because it’s about losing James*. Although he wasn’t technically my boyfriend, he was the closest thing I’ve had to one. And through the painful experience of losing him, God has again let me taste His goodness.
So I ended Part 1 by sharing the first hard lesson I’ve learned from that relationship: Dating isn’t always fun and romantic. Though that lesson may seem very pessimistic, I shared it to ultimately encourage you to have low expectations about your future dating endeavors. I promise I’ll try to encourage you through the hard lessons I share in this post too.
Honestly, the past several weeks have been pretty terrible. The whole James experience has taught me many hard lessons about dating. Hopefully, the ones I share in this post will help you avoid some heartache as you navigate romantic relationships.
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 