Where God's Word Meets Our Mess
I know that you wonder if one day—someday—all of the eye pain, neck pain, and back pain will pay off. If the 45-minute commute, the horrendous traffic, and the interstate driving will pay off. If the long, lonely hours of staring at a screen trapped inside white prison walls will pay off.
So I have this problem—a problem of pointless pursuits. Pointless pursuits have kind of been the theme of my life, at least in the last few years. I haven’t pursued empty things because people failed to warn me about the consequences. Ignorance wasn’t the issue. My stubbornness was.
Others have done what I want to do—become a traditionally published young author of a nonfiction Christian book. Honestly, I envy them. I want their success. But for now, I’m an almost-graduated college student without a published book. And those authors are living my dream.
But as I visit church after church and feel like I don’t quite fit, I sigh. As I notice Sean walk past me without acknowledging me, I sigh. As I struggle to find a job that sounds enjoyable, I sigh. I’m just glad that God hears me when I do.
Honestly, I’m tired of the lectures about not meeting my goals last year. And I’m tired of the lectures about meeting my goals in the upcoming year. Of course, I strongly encourage you to grow in Christ and always be intentional about deepening your faith. But sometimes, I struggle with being told how to live by fallible human beings.
Yet again, I had to rush through my quiet time to get ready for class this morning. Yet again, I felt a twinge of guilt for cutting this time short. But yet again, I did nothing about it. In fact, I did it the next day and the day after that and the day after that. I couldn't understand why making my quiet time a priority was so difficult.
However, I'd rather ask this question: Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions from 2017? What about from 2016? What about from the past five years?
Your time, whether spent well or poorly, is a sunk cost. Every moment of the past is a sunk cost. We sometimes pay the price for wasting time—even when we don’t mean to waste it.
The to-do list is never ending. I feel you. There’s always more to do. As soon as you feel satisfied because you finished a big job, you realize there are six more “big jobs” to do. Isn’t every job a big job? Why can’t a task take five minutes instead of five hours? I don’t have the perfect solution to make your life less hectic, but I might have a reason why we’re so busy.
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 