One of my goals at TTT is to share encouraging content with you, and that is certainly my goal for today's post. This wasn't an easy post for me to prepare because it involves the death of a young woman due to a severe eating disorder. However, her mom, Dr. Lisa L. Billings, demonstrates great courage in transparently discussing her daughter's eating disorder and the sadness that she has experienced as a result of it. Not only do I want this post to be an encouraging reminder to unconditionally love those in your life who are battling an eating disorder, but I also want this post to be an encouraging reminder that because of Jesus' suffering and death, we can find purpose in our deepest sadness. He wants to draw us near, friends.
I wrote this poem during a very difficult year. I was finishing my sophomore year of college, and I was struggling to accept my body. Like really struggling. I was considered "recovered" from my anorexia nervosa, but I still absolutely abhorred my body. I wallowed in my self-hatred day after day. Halfheartedly praying for acceptance and motivation, I felt utterly defeated by the devil and his weapons of deception. But God didn't leave me in my moment of need. He stayed.
I know God never promised that I would marry Sean or that I would become a published author or that I would find the perfect church. And He never promised that you would accomplish _____ goal or have _____ desire met. But that doesn’t mean His back is turned away from you. In fact, the opposite is true.
Louis saw God as the source of his suffering in the prison camps and wanted nothing to do with Him. When the PTSD became too difficult to handle, he drank alcohol. But it led him to his downfall. He was only able to see his circumstances clearly when he turned to Christ and trusted Him for salvation. He realized that God did not cause his pain but allowed it so that Louis could come to know Him.
We’re not always going to have the perfect birthday, the perfect Christmas, the perfect first date, the perfect vacation, the perfect first day of school, or the perfect _____. Because life is messy.
My sins dug nails into His hands and feet. My sins thrust a crown of sharp thorns onto His head. My sins hung Him on a splintering wooden cross so that the world could watch His pain and mock Him relentlessly. My sins cast Him into utter darkness—a world full of loneliness, shame, misery, gloom, frustration, rage, anguish, sorrow, despair, rejection, and pain. Why would the King of Light dwell in the world of darkness?