I hadn't done much video chatting before 2020, but all of a sudden, video chatting became the new normal. Google Meet and Zoom became typical places for gathering. While video chatting is great for connecting with friends and family members who live far away, it can never replace in-person interactions and relationships.
I’ve entrusted my heart to way too many people in my life. Thus, way too many people have disappointed me. Although this is difficult to admit, it’s partially our fault when people disappoint us. They can only disappoint us if we put too much faith, hope, or trust in them. No one deserves our hearts except the One who created them and holds them tenderly.
I know that I almost allowed anorexia nervosa to ruin my life. Thankfully, God intervened. Perhaps you also realize that your eating disorder could’ve ruined your life. But also realize this: you are not your eating disorder.
Friend, take heart that your feelings do not determine the truth. Be encouraged that every moment you do feel like a lost, blind wretch is a moment God can use to draw you closer to Himself. But also be encouraged that every moment you don’t feel like a lost, blind wretch is still a moment God can use to draw you closer to Himself.
The following is written from God's perspective, not my own. Of course, I'm not trying to put words in His mouth or add to the Bible. These words are just my ideas of what He might tell you if you are...
Eventually, the muffin was gone, and I realized that I had eaten it…well, at least half of it. It wasn’t a giant muffin, but that didn’t make a difference in my post-anorexia mind. It might as well have been a basketball-sized muffin with triple the chocolate chips. The rest of the day, I allowed my thoughts to descend into Ed’s Black Hole.
I fully believe that true Christians will bear fruit. And that fruit will be obvious to other people, like faithfulness and joy and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). But I don’t believe we are on the deadline that we give ourselves.
Maybe it’s just me…but I feel anything but free on this Independence Day. Instead of feeling free, we now feel like prisoners. Wearing our masks. Limiting our gatherings to 10 people. Staying six feet apart. Quarantining in our homes. I haven’t felt free since mid-March of this year. But I didn’t lose my freedom when the coronavirus hit. Neither did you.
I believe God has convicted me that, deep down in my soul, I treasure these people and things more than Him. Yes, I still know Him. Yes, I still love Him. Yes, I still belong to Him. But I've been chasing my fleshly desires.
Despite what many Christians will tell you (or imply), it's actually okay to feel empty. You're not less of a Christian because you can't see, hear, or feel God right now...even if that "right now" period lasts for a while. It isn't our job as believers to conjure up emotions that don't exist.
Sure, the lack of toilet paper, the constant mask-wearing, and the frequent boredom are irritating. But perhaps the deeper—and subtler—reason we hate COVID-19 is because it wasn’t part of our plan.
Now, of course, this is the perfect opportunity for me to make up a great story about how I’m cherishing my single life and how I don’t need a man. I just need my career…or gal pals…or Jesus. Right? But the truth isn’t nearly as complicated as those made-up reasons.
My excitement about going home for spring break turned into nervousness about the unknown for the rest of the semester. I hate the unknown. That’s why I’m most concerned about the coronavirus. Because I don't know when I can resume my normal life again.
If God is my everything, I don’t need anything. I don’t need a date for Friday night. I don’t need a boyfriend who buys me flowers. I don’t need a husband who holds me in his arms. And I don’t need Four. Because I have Him.
As I walked out of the building, I couldn’t help but wonder: Why was everyone so unhappy while they were exercising? What are we trying to achieve by sweating persistently, feeling utterly exhausted, and even permanently injuring our bodies? Are we truly trying to be healthy, like we claim? Or are our motives a bit messier than that?