If you hit the “rewind” button on my life and traveled back in time about five years, you would find me in a very difficult season of recovery from my anorexia. Struggling to make sense of who I was and who I needed to be. Doubting I would ever love myself or even like myself. Wanting to be skinny above everything else. As that season lingered, I felt like I was trudging through heavy, dirty mud. Craving answers to my questions but not being willing to accept the answers before me.
You know that crushed feeling you get when the guy you like starts dating someone else? I wrote this poem on the same day that I found out the guy I secretly liked was dating someone else. Honestly, it was a very depressing day for me. But the purpose of this poem isn't to throw a pity party; it's to express my emotions and hopefully provide an outlet for you to express yours, too. You don't have to stuff the sadness down into the depths of your soul. Even when you're sad about something seemingly silly, like your crush dating another girl. You can take that sadness to Someone.
When I lost my phone at an amusement park recently, all I did was panic. My mind automatically went into Worst Case Scenario mode. My trip to the Lost and Found Office didn’t help. Nor did making phone calls and filling out online forms. I was completely helpless in this situation. Sure, I said a couple quick prayers of panic. But instead of placing my trust in the Lord—that He would do whatever was best for me in this situation—I worried.
Christmas is coming, which means a lot of smiles, laughter, and general Christmas cheer. But this year feels different to you. This year feels…hard. You’re experiencing a jumble of emotions: "I’m supposed to be excited about Christmas, aren’t I? Why do I feel anxious, overwhelmed, and exhausted? What’s wrong with me? This is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, but I’m ready for it to be over."
Since I was a little girl, I’ve wanted to be a writer. Honestly, you probably already knew that because I’ve written about this dream many times since I started TTT in 2015. Well, my dream finally came true this year. The summer, I signed my first book contract. I'm a published author now. Yet this season of life feels a bit anticlimactic.
So, when we have to make a morally neutral decision (meaning a decision that is neither moral nor immoral), we panic. In wanting to follow God’s will for our lives, I believe that we’ve gone from one extreme to the other—not caring what God thinks about our decisions to being terrified that God will hate our decisions. What if there’s a balance between both of those extremes?
I don't know if you're a control freak like me, but I do know that trying to be in control is exhausting. Because it's actually impossible. Your outcome may or may not be good if you manipulate the situation to get what you want; but the outcome will be good if you choose to let God have control of the situation.
“It wasn’t enough,” a voice tells you. “It wasn’t real. You need to do it again.” As a girl who prayed to trust Christ as my Savior countless times after I initially did as a little child, I know that voice well. I completely understand the urge to “re-do” my salvation. But the belief that the first time we asked Christ to save us wasn’t enough is often a lie from Satan. Here are a few of the top reasons that Satan gives for why our childhood salvation wasn’t enough.
When I had anorexia, I was a talented dieter. I was also a very talented deceiver (which isn’t an accomplishment, by the way). Unfortunately, I am still a very talented deceiver today. That’s why I wanted to share some warning signs of anorexia with you—because anorexia can be very easy to miss. You might think, “Oh, she could never have anorexia” or “I could never have anorexia.” But before you make such a rash judgment, see if you or those you love have exhibited these warning signs.