As I’ve mentioned recently, I wrote this blog post series to expand on, not change, what I wrote in my new book The Ring by Spring Ruse. In my book, I communicated the importance of being faithful, hopeful, and prayerful in singleness—and I stand by their importance. But I did feel the need to address the question “What if I never get married?” on my blog since I didn’t address it in my book.
I started the series by discussing that marriage is good, so desiring marriage is perfectly fine (Part 1). I continued the series by discussing that marriage isn’t guaranteed at a certain time, so forcing/rushing marriage is foolish (Part 2). But today, we’re going to face the most difficult—yet most beautiful—truth in the series: Marriage isn’t guaranteed on earth, so fixing our eyes on heaven is essential.
The Longings in Our Hearts
The question “What if I never get married?” is a valid question for single girls to ask. Yes, we pray for our future husbands and look forward to meeting them. But deep down, we know that God’s Word doesn’t promise marriage, which means we might spend our entire lives single.
Despair might feel like the only appropriate response to such a reality. I mean, marriage isn’t simply a relationship; it’s an intimate friendship, a permanent union, and a sacred covenant. There’s nothing else quite like it. Maybe you feel like you won’t be able to survive singleness for a lifetime.
I understand that feeling. My heart longs for marriage. For romance and companionship and intimacy and all those wonderful things I can’t really experience as a single girl. Although I desperately want to meet my future husband, I don’t even know if he exists.
The One Who Made a Way
But here’s what I do know: One day, I won’t even remember if I spent my life single or married. Though I might get to experience marriage on earth, it’ll only provide a glimpse—a very small glimpse—of the marriage that awaits me in heaven. (See Revelation 19 and 21.) My pain, including the pain I feel in singleness, will vanish completely when I get there. That is what I know for certain.
Marriage isn’t promised to anyone, but heaven is promised to everyone who follows Jesus. So the struggles we have in this life—including questions about marriage and fears about singleness—are only temporary struggles. We don’t need to wonder (or worry) about our destiny because God’s Word makes it very clear.
I’m not trying to minimize your struggles as a single girl. The loneliness and longing are so real and so raw. Trust me when I say I feel them too. I deeply desire to get married, and I think it’ll probably happen one day.
But even if it doesn’t, my disappointment will be brief. In fact, it will be erased from my memory. I won’t take my earthly sorrow into my heavenly home. As soon as I enter God’s presence, it’ll vanish. That’s why my ultimate hope is not in my future husband (who may or may not exist) or his arrival (which may or may not happen) but in the God who made a way for me to leave this earth and its sorrows behind.
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. (Romans 8:18 NASB1995)
Thanks for joining me for this blog post series about the question “What if I never get married?” and for persevering through each part (especially Part 3)! If you’ve found the series relevant, you’ll probably find The Ring by Spring Ruse relevant too. In a sentence, it’s about choosing hope over despair. May we strive to make that choice every day, as we consider the possibility of marriage and stand on the certainty of heaven.
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