How dependent are you on a calendar? Maybe a paper calendar or a phone calendar?
I’m too dependent on the calendar. There are three things in this life that I adore: calendars, lists, and sour gummy worms.
But I’m going to focus on the first thing for now. (I may have to talk about my favorite sour gummy worm brands later on. Or I could just tell you that Brach’s is beast at making sour gummy worms. 🙂 )
I need a list of things in my life that are set in stone. And this dependence is a natural thing, but it’s not a good thing. Because the calendar is constantly changing. Events get cancelled and added—which means there are no certainties I can write down on a planner with a Sharpie. Pencils were created for a reason.
I set expectations way too easily—even in little ways.
I just wish life was set in stone. I want to know what the next (hopefully) 80 years of my life are going to look like—and I’d love to know every single detail. But life doesn’t work like that. Very few things stay the same.
But Jesus does.
Even though my plans frequently change, the One who knows me best is sovereign over them.
If I could see my life in 50 years, then I wouldn’t really need God. I’d be in control of my own life. But I’d mess it up pretty badly. Because I’m imperfect, my plans are imperfect.
Recently, I’ve been trying to convince myself that (1) I don’t need to know absolutely everything and (2) God will show me what He wants me to do with my life when I’m ready to know.
But when will that be?
When will that perfect lightbulb moment come when I figure out my future?
Or maybe my future has already been figured out. Maybe my future has already been planned. And I know it looks amazing because my God is amazing.
If I stay on God’s path and obey Him, then I’ll know what I need to know when I need to know it.
It’s just so hard to simply…wait.
What am I supposed to do while I’m waiting for everything to finally make sense?
Just what I mentioned above: stay on God’s path and follow Him.
I’m not ready to know my future because right now I’m too dependent on myself. I’m not waiting patiently. In fact, I’m waiting very impatiently.
Maybe you are you, too. It’s difficult to watch family members, friends, and classmates figure out what they want to do with their lives when you feel like you’ll never figure it out. They’re already celebrating at the end of the Candy Land game, and you’re still trying to find out how to get through Licorice Valley (or whatever it’s called because it’s probably not that).
It’s okay, friends. Celebrate anyway. Celebrate when you finish high school or start community college or start a new job or serve in church or try new hobbies. Celebrate as you walk through this very season of life because it’s a gift.
Your life doesn’t start when the lightbulb turns on.
Your life doesn’t start when you figure out what to do with the rest of your life; it started before you were born. God knew what He wanted you to do before you even entered this world.
I keep telling myself that when I’m supposed to know what I’m going to do with my life, I’ll know. I keep hoping and praying that I’ll figure out God’s will. I don’t want to doubt something so sacred and perfect. I want to be sure that it’s my calling and that I’m ready for it.
But I don’t think I’m ready yet. I think I need to grow in God more and fall in love with Him before I can commit to His will. If He told me to go to Kenya and be a missionary, I’d be far from ready. (Truth be told, I’d probably be kicking and screaming on the plane…or maybe I wouldn’t even buy the plane ticket.)
I hate not knowing where I’m going to do with the rest of my life, but that’s where I am right now…in the unknown.
And there’s nothing wrong with the unknown. Because in reality, it is known—not by us but by our perfect God.
“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34 NASB)
“And which of you by worrying can add a day to his life’s span?” (Luke 12:25 NASB)
“‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for prosperity and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.’” (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NASB)
Friends, don’t rely on your planner or your calendar. And don’t rely on yourself to create a good future. It won’t be nearly as wonderful as the one God has planned for you.
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