Ah, the single years. This season of waiting can be hard, especially if your siblings or friends are dating. But these years aren’t a waste of time—they’re a gift! If you’re wondering how to use your time well in this season (and how to practically treat it like the gift that it is), here are 10 suggestions to consider:
1. Grow in your relationship with God.
Your life will probably only become busier as you get older, so now is a great time to invest in your relationship with God. Spend time with Him every day to become closer to Him. Study Scripture, keep a prayer journal, listen to worship music, write down prayer requests and answers to prayer, and learn to listen to God’s voice.
2. Serve others.
When you become interested in a guy, it’s easy to become infatuated (and even obsessed) with him. Use this time of your life to get in the habit of serving others. You can volunteer at a food pantry or pregnancy care center, help in the children’s ministry or music ministry at church, or even lead a Bible study for younger girls in your life.
3. Cultivate godly character qualities.
Though I do want to get married someday, I honestly don’t think that I’m ready to get married right now because there are so many areas in my life where I need to grow in. Think about areas in your own life where you struggle and can improve. Ask God to work in your heart so that you’ll develop the character qualities that reflect Christ (and will affect your future marriage!).
4. Spend time with your family and friends.
It’s so important to maintain the other relationships in your life when you start dating. But your season of singleness is a great time to spend time with your family and friends regularly. Serve them, encourage them, and engage them in conversation.
5. Make a list of must-haves for your future husband.
Things like “must have dark hair” probably shouldn’t go on this list. This list should really be filled with character qualities that you desire in a future husband, like “hardworking” and “respectful” and “honest.” This list can also include more specific things that are important to you, like “wants a big family” or “enjoys spending time outside.”
6. Discover new hobbies.
Maybe you already have a hobby that you love, or maybe you don’t really know how to spend your free time. But this is the time to figure out what you love to do! You can take a cooking class, join a sports team, take music lessons, or go on a few hikes.
7. Pray for your future husband.
I genuinely believe that God has the right husband in store for you because He knows exactly what (and who) you need. You may not meet your future husband for several more years, but if you’re willing to wait for him, God will lead you to him. Pray that God will guide him and protect Him—and pray that He’ll give you patience as you wait for him to enter your life.
8. Observe guys.
You might not have a boyfriend right now, but nothing prevents you from having guy acquaintances. For now, it’d be a good use of time to watch how guys behave. Do certain actions irritate you? Do you appreciate specific qualities? What guys stand out to you and why?
9. Ask older and wiser adults for advice.
The people God has placed in your life—like your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and people at your church—have learned a lot about relationships. I’m sure that they would be happy to share what they’ve learned with you. Ask for their advice on dating and marriage—and relationships in general!
10. Remember how short this season may be.
I know how easy it is to despair as a single girl—to assume that this season of singleness will last forever. But I genuinely believe that God has called most of His children to marriage. This season will likely change, so don’t give in to despair; trust the Lord’s perfect plan for your life.
The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. (Psalm 28:7 NLT)
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