On the one hand, I’m afraid that I’ll have sex once and never want to have it again: What if having sex hurts? What if it’s uncomfortable? What if I hate it? On the other hand, I’m afraid that I’ll have sex once and won’t want to stop: What if having sex becomes my favorite new hobby? What if it’s super intense? What if I like it more than my husband does?
I wish there were lots of great resources available for the Christian single girl, but this Christian single girl has definitely struggled to find them. My favorite kind of resource is genuine and interesting, but sadly, these kinds of resources are few and far between—especially for the single Christian girl. But I have stumbled upon a few fantastic resources (a blog post, a book, and a podcast episode) that will hopefully be exactly what you need today:
After I graduated from college, I moved back home to live with my parents and two sisters. This has been a great arrangement because I love my family, my home, and my hometown. I work here, I attend church here, and most of my friends live here. It’s a genuinely beautiful place with plenty to do but not too much to do. But there was one really hard thing about the transition from living at college to moving back home that all single college graduates have to deal with—feelings of loneliness. Knowing that I was welcome back home with my family. Yet feeling like I should be getting married and buying a home of my own. Being thankful for the space that my parents had for me. But learning to accept that I didn’t have a home of my own to “homemake.”
Single Girl, I don’t judge you for any excuse that you’ve made in a desperate attempt to stay inside your comfort zone. But I want you to know that it’s really challenging to meet guys (and do other important things--life's not all about guys) if you stay inside your comfort zone. Please don’t miss the opportunities in front of you simply because they might make you feel a bit un-comfy.
When you were in youth group, you were warned about the dangers of missionary dating. Your youth pastor always said that missionary dating was a slippery slope into an unequally yoked marriage. At the time, you completely agreed with your youth pastor. But then you met [insert the name of your boyfriend].
Dear Single Girl, I see you over there—watching Redeeming Love as you curl up in a ball on your couch with a bag of popcorn in one hand and a can of La Croix in the other. Last month, you promised yourself that you wouldn’t watch this movie because it’s a bit risqué. But that was before your boyfriend broke up with you. Before your best friend told you that she’s engaged. Before you realized that you’re 21 and have never been kissed. [Or insert other scenario that has caused a wave of indescribable loneliness to overtake you.] All you wanted was a little pick-me-up in the love department.
I think one of the hardest things for a Christian girl to accept is her desire for sex. Or maybe it’s just me. I wish I could say that I’m looking forward to marriage because I want to have a lifelong best friend or because I’m ready to love and be loved by my soulmate. But really, I’m just looking forward to having sex. And if you’re trying to follow God’s design for sex by saving it for marriage, I’m guessing that you’re looking forward to it too.
Have you experienced that intense nervousness when you talk with the guy you’re crushing on? Then there's the sudden panic that sets in during the chat because you’re not sure how to respond to what he says. And then, of course, there's that delayed panic that you feel after the chat because you’re not sure how he felt about your conversation. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. This is the life of a girl who has a hardcore crush.