Raw Reflections on My Writing: My 2-Year Blogiversary

Today is a day of celebration! I published my first blog post exactly 1 year and 352 days ago, and I’ve officially written 102 blog posts. I should be excited about the future—and I am. But I’m also very unsure.

I feel unsure about my blogging future because I don’t know if blogging will take me where I want to go. I worry that I’ll keep writing and blogging but never get a book deal or become a well-known author. I fear that all of my efforts will be wasted.

Is the Future Bright?

So why do I keep blogging?

It’s not because my real desire is to touch the hearts of others—though that should be my desire. It’s not because I truly want God to be glorified through my writing—though I do hope that He is. It’s not because writing helps me encourage the broken—though that may be a side benefit.

Honestly, I write for egotistical reasons—so that I can talk about my blog and my followers and my writing. I write for self-serving reasons—so that I can build my platform and eventually become a published author. I write for prideful reasons—so that I can feel like I have value in something.

So should I keep blogging?

After all, my motivations aren’t very good. I prioritize fame too highly. Taking a break from blogging—or perhaps stopping forever—might be a smart option.

But I’m terrified of choosing that option—because my dream of being a published author hasn’t come true yet. I don’t feel ready to stop blogging. And I really don’t feel ready to let go of my dream.

Better Plans and Bigger Dreams

The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. (Proverbs 16:9 NASB1995)

Even though I feel like my motives for writing and blogging are selfish, I know that God can change my heart so that I’ll write for His glory. My motives aren’t too messy for Him to purify. If I allow Him to work in my heart, He can take my writing to an incredible place.

One more thing…before I finish this post, I want to say thank you. Thank you to my family for being supportive of my goals. Thank you to my readers and followers for keeping up with my posts. And thank You, God, for having better plans—and bigger dreams—for my life than I have.