The overcast sky looked daunting on the windy afternoon. I looked around the trailer at the group of parents and young children. I was at a family farm with activities, food, and games. Some of the passengers on the trailer ride were loud and excited. Others seemed quiet and bored. Without saying a word to any of them, I could tell that they had experienced hardship. As an observant introvert, I couldn’t help but perceive the hurt in their eyes.
I saw pain in the eyes of the 20-something single woman taking pictures on her phone. I saw it in the eyes of the young mom holding a curly-haired toddler. I saw it in the eyes of the older man, looking off into the distance. The passengers on that tractor ride may have been noticeably hurting—but often the hurt in people’s lives isn’t so noticeable.
Playing Hide-but-No-Seek
We all try to hide the pain by pasting happy smiles on our faces. Some people even try to hide the pain by bragging about themselves. But wearing a smile and claiming to be fine aren’t indicators that someone has it all together.
In our sin-tainted world, no one is exempt from struggling or brokenness or pain. We all have struggles. We all sin and fall short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23).
Truth be told, I’ll probably never hear about the physical abuse that my cashier has endured, the loss of a child that my bank teller experienced, or the suicide that my waiter attempted. I don’t expect to hear about their issues. It’s very unusual for strangers to open up to each other.
But even with the people we know—the people we’re supposed to be unified with—we try to hide. We remain silent. We conveniently forget to mention that we are struggling.
How We Hide
Imagine this scenario: It’s Sunday morning, and you’re sitting in your usual church pew beside family members and friends. You sing with raised hands during worship and take notes during the sermon. When the service ends, you make your usual rounds to different church members to say hello and ask how they are.
After your rounds, you realize that the elders are locking up the church. You rush out to your car, sigh deeply, and pull out a bottle of pills or a Snickers bar or your phone. Or perhaps you hurry home to watch TV, cry alone in your room, open a bottle of wine, or stare at a computer screen. Whatever you do, you’re finally free from the act…the charade…the performance. You can finally escape from the role that you play and be completely alone.
I’m guilty of playing this game, and you probably are, too. I’m often tempted to call my version of church real “fellowship,” but it’s not. Fellowship is deeper than conversations about the weather, sports, and politics. It involves encouraging other believers. We’re called to walk in the light.
If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. (1 John 1:6-7 NASB)
Why We Hide
The struggle to be real is real, friends. We don’t talk about our struggles—our suicidal thoughts, loneliness, marriage conflicts, financial issues, eating disorders, failing grades, infertility, porn addictions, spiritual doubts, poor health, anxiety, alcoholism, etc. The list goes on forever. Why do we try so hard to hide our struggles?
Because the truth is too raw, too uncomfortable, too embarrassing. The truth feels “unholy.” What would Christians think about us if we told them _____? What if we told them we committed _____ sin or had _____ struggle?
Would they be shocked? Would they be unable to respond? Would they shun us?
While it’s possible that our honesty wouldn’t be received well, it’s also possible that there’s something the shocked, unable-to-respond, shunning Christians haven’t told you…
…which I’ll share in two weeks on The Struggle (to Be Real) Is Real Part 2! Next week, look for a Halloween post that discusses the convictions related to this controversial holiday. Thanks for reading!
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 