I stared at the group of college students across the cafeteria as they ate dinner together. At the full table, I couldn’t help but observe how many eyes were glued to phone screens. The scene was saddening but not unusual. When did eating a meal together stop revolving around rich laughter, deep conversations, and friendly encouragement?
Don’t get me wrong—I love my phone. I love that I can text, make calls, go online, make notes, and set timers using one portable device. It can be used for great things, from tithing online to staying in touch with missionaries. But when we use our phones rather than pay attention to the people we’re with, we communicate that we care more about our phones (and ourselves) than them.
Socially Acceptable?
Honestly, I’m guilty of using my phone rather than paying attention to the people I’m with. In fact, I feel guilty every time I pull out my phone while I’m with my family. I know that I shouldn’t be scrolling through my notifications while I’m with my friends. But I do it anyway. We do it anyway.
These days, having a phone addiction is often seen as socially acceptable.
After all, it’s okay that we’re addicted to our phones because everyone else is, right? We can’t not use our phones because they’re essential for everyday life, right? We can’t ignore our followers because that would be rude, right?
I don’t think we can claim these excuses any longer.
The Damage We Cause
Before we choose to pull out our phones, we have to consider the feelings of others. After all, it’s practically automatic to feel ignored and disappointed when you’re talking with people and they’re looking at their phones instead of looking at you. Despite their intentions or motives, they’re communicating, “You don’t matter to me as much as _____ on my phone.”
Of course, I can’t point any fingers because I, too, struggle with a phone addiction. But I want to point out that it does makes a big difference when you listen to the people around you, make eye contact with them, and smile at them rather than staring at a screen. Intentionality in our conversations isn’t easy, but it matters so, so much.
Your social media accounts can wait. Your texts can wait. Your emails can wait.
Because the truth is that real-life relationships carry a much higher value than anything we can accomplish (or waste time on) on our phones.
The Key to Letting Go of Our Addiction
Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. (Philippians 2:1-4 NASB)
If I could sum up this passage in one sentence, I’d say this: Be intentional by choosing selflessness.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized how easy it is to pull out my phone. If I need a self-esteem boost, entertainment, or comfort, I can get it with a simple click. But maintaining (or even making) eye contact, smiling at others, and having conversations are really hard things to do.
That’s why it requires intentionality to put our phones away and start paying attention to the people around us.
Friends, we must be “intent on one purpose” (v. 2). That purpose isn’t checking every text we receive, getting more Twitter followers, or posting the funniest pictures on Instagram. Our purpose is to serve Christ by serving others—and we can start by putting away our phones and caring about what they have to say. Intentionality genuinely makes a difference.
This post was originally published here.
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