Staring at an empty page on Microsoft Word, I sat alone on a kitchen stool in silence. Irritated and frustrated, I racked my brain for a blog post idea. Unfortunately, I didn’t have much success.
I know I have to think of an idea. I can’t keep stalling…What if I write about overcoming sin? Nah. Haven’t I already written about that a hundred times? Where have all my ideas gone? Why is this so hard?
As I continued to stare at a completely blank page, I couldn’t help but wonder why I even bothered trying to write. Why do I keep writing? Why do I keep blogging? Where is all of this headed?
My Messy Motivations
To be honest, the answer is kind of messy. You see, I’m scared. Specifically, I’m scared about what will happen if I stop writing.
For years, it’s been my dream to get a book published. I can’t stop thinking about it and hoping for it. Even as I’ve gotten older and my life has gotten busier, I’ve still held onto the dream of writing books.
I still want to write books. I still want to be a published author. I still want to be famous.
Yes, I know that my motivation for writing is completely self-centered. I know that it’s not what I’m supposed to want. But it’s the truth.
I want people to see my name on a book cover and ask for my autograph. I want people to drive for hours to hear me speak at conferences. I want people to follow my writing journey and tell their friends all about me. Because it is all about me…right?
If I Stop
No, it’s really not all about me. But in my thoughts, words, and actions, I’ve made writing all about me. Even my fears about writing revolve around me.
The reason that I’m scared to stop writing is that I may never write again. And if I never write again, I’ll never get a book published. And if I never get a book published, I’ll never be famous. And if I never become famous, then what will give me value?
I believe that this is a question that we all must answer in life. If our success, wealth, careers, popularity, awards, social media followers, relationships, and everything else were stripped away, would we be valuable? Or would we be worthless and purposeless?
What if I’m more than a writer? What if you’re more than your success, wealth, career, popularity, awards, social media followers, or relationships?
We are, friends.
He Sees
“Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:6-7 NASB)
Christ didn’t say that He valued our achievements. He said that He values us—with or without our worldly successes.
When you make your identity about something, rather than Someone, that thing becomes an idol. And you worship it for all the wrong reasons.
I’ve made writing my identity. How about you? Where does your identity come from?
Do you work endless hours at the office so that you’ll get a promotion and a fancy job title? Are you often in debt because you’re spending money on the latest trends? Do you ignore amazing ministry opportunities to keep your 4.0 GPA? Do you constantly count your social media followers? Are you dating a guy simply because he makes you feel good about yourself?
Those are just a few questions that you may be wrestling with. Though it’s hard for us to admit, we all struggle to find our identity in Christ alone. We want to find our value in things that we achieve, and we want others to notice our achievements.
But Christ notices us—even without our achievements. We don’t have to try harder to get His attention. He sees us. He values us. He loves us.
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