Ever since I signed a contract for Real Recovery: What Eating Disorder Recovery Actually Looks Like, I’ve been afraid. Actually, I was afraid before I ever signed the contract. I’ve harbored fears about writing a book, becoming a published author, and finding success. To be more specific, I’ve harbored fears about being unable to write a book, become a published author, and find success. There’s now a checkmark next to “write a book” and “become a published author,” but there’s not yet a checkmark next to “find success.” I realize that success is a subjective concept, so here’s my version of it: being a well-known, well-loved published author. And I haven't found that success yet.