“Hey, guys! If you want to sit with us, we’ll be sitting in the back of the cafeteria.”
I smiled and turned to leave after I invited a couple new friends to join me and my college roommate for dinner. We walked over to a table, sat down, and waited for them to arrive. But only one of the girls came over to join us. Reagan* didn’t, though.
I thought that I saw Reagan in the cafeteria, but then I couldn’t see where she went. All I knew was that she wasn’t sitting with me. And that hurt.
I couldn’t understand why Reagan ignored my offer to join us. I was curious if there was a specific reason she rejected my invitation, but I was upset that she didn’t join our table.
Not My First Rejection
Friends, this wasn’t the first time that I’d been rejected by someone I’d considered a potential friend. In middle school, I’d basically been ignored by a group of my friends. During my senior year of high school, I had the same experience. I’ve faced rejection many times, and I’m sure that you have, too. But that doesn’t give us a reason to hold a grudge.
Oh, I get it—you feel like you’ve been stabbed in the back. You’ve been rejected one too many times. You’ve been betrayed by one too many “friends.” I understand completely.
Yes, cliques are annoying. They leave us feeling worthless and insignificant and unloved.
Yes, the popularity chase is frustrating. No one else seems to recognize that it only leads to fickle friendships.
Yes, real friendships are hard. They require patience and hard work.
But no matter how many times you’ve been hurt, ignored, or rejected, you aren’t exempt from choosing forgiveness.
It’s Not Easy, but It’s Worth It
Yes, I said choose. That means that forgiveness isn’t a feeling; it’s a choice. It’s a conscious decision to do the right thing and let go of the grudge.
Not because it’s easy. Not because the other person deserves it. Not even because you might feel better after you do.
Forgive because Jesus forgave you. It wasn’t based on a feeling that He had. Jesus chose—yes, consciously chose—to forgive us.
But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8 ESV)
Please don’t skip past this verse. Instead, let this truth soak in: Jesus didn’t decide to love us once we’d decided to love Him back; He decided to love us before we were even born—millennia before we realized what a mess we’d made.
Forgiving the messy people in our lives is no different. Forgiveness isn’t about waiting until the rejectors recognize that they’ve have hurt us (because they might never recognize it). And forgiveness isn’t about waiting until the rejectors ask for our forgiveness (because they might never ask). It’s about deciding to love by choosing forgiveness, just like Christ did.
*Name has been changed.
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 