The coronavirus makes us angry and frustrated. Thinking about it is simply depressing. Everyone I’ve talked to has somehow been negatively affected by it—whether it’s getting laid off from a job, being sent home from college, or transitioning to teleworking. But I think that there’s an underlying reason why we hate COVID-19 so much.
The Real Reason
The last several weeks have been full of unexpected transitions and frustrations. I think that we can all admit that the lack of toilet paper, constant mask-wearing, and numbing boredom aren’t fun. But perhaps the deeper—and subtler—reason that we hate COVID-19 is because it wasn’t part of our plan.
This simply isn’t what we planned for 2020. We planned job promotions, parties, vacations, weddings, and graduation ceremonies. COVID-19 definitely wasn’t part of the plan.
I invited a few of my friends to share about their recent disappointments due to the coronavirus. I appreciate their honesty but also their positivity. They’re not selfish for feeling disappointed about the ways that the coronavirus has impacted their lives; they’re human. I think that their feelings are incredibly relatable and will hopefully be an encouragement to you.
Thoughts from Lilli
Here’s what Lilli had to say about her cancelled graduation ceremony:
I had thought of the possibility of graduation getting cancelled, but it was still a shock to hear the news. I definitely had to take time to grieve that loss. I wasn’t nearly as sad to lose the long, dry graduation ceremony as I was sad to abruptly lose time with my community of people at college, especially because I live so far away from school.
But Lilli has been learning how to live with the disappointment:
I’m really bad at surrendering control over situations and waiting patiently to know outcomes for my future, so this level of disappointment and uncertainty has been really hard. I wish I could say I went straight to the Lord and have trusted Him completely, but I didn’t and haven’t—and most days, it’s a struggle to remember that it’s not my job to worry about every detail about my future (career, housing, relationships, etc.). Spiraling into all the what-ifs is really easy to do; but I’m grateful for the tools I’ve learned in counseling for recognizing those unhealthy thought processes and changing them. I’ve also started praying in God’s presence, which has been really life-giving.
Thoughts from Megan
Megan shared about her cancelled wedding:
It was frustrating and disappointing to find out I couldn’t have all my loved ones and friends attend and share one of the most important days of my life. This is one of the events that a girl spends almost her entire childhood planning and dreaming of. Going through all the months of planning and having it stopped suddenly due to something out of your control is so disheartening.
But Megan has been recognizing blessings and possibilities:
As sad as it was not having everyone at the wedding, it was such a special and unique ceremony that I’ll never forget. I have been dealing with the disappointment by trying to find another venue that is available to hold a celebration event later in the year for our marriage. Knowing that we’ll have another day to have friends and family attend an event to celebrate our union as husband and wife is very encouraging. Most importantly, the best thing helping me get through the disappointment is having the opportunity to get married before the stay-at-home order came into effect. I am so incredibly thankful that I have Justin [her new husband] right by my side during this hard and stressful time. I can’t imagine going through this global pandemic without him.
Thoughts from Emily
Emily told me about her baby shower that was cancelled:
I was pretty disappointed when my baby shower was cancelled due to COVID-19. It felt like I was being robbed of something special—a milestone that many women get to have during their first pregnancies. Because many women have baby showers when they are expecting for the first time, I was disappointed when I realized that I might not ever get to have a typical baby shower. I also felt bad for the people who were looking forward to planning and hosting it for my husband and me.
Still, Emily has been moving on from her disappointment:
I try not to dwell on the fact [that the baby shower] was cancelled due to the virus. Additionally, if we’d had the shower and someone had contracted the sickness, I would’ve felt bad—so I’m thankful that was not a possibility due to its cancellation. One thing that has helped me deal with the disappointment of the baby shower being cancelled was that my mom wanted to set up a virtual shower for me through Zoom for some of our out-of-state family members. It was such a blessing to have family want to participate and join. We have also been blessed by receiving presents despite the shower being cancelled, so I’ve been enjoying receiving the gifts for our baby.
It’s Okay to Cry Now
My friends’ plans changed overnight, and it’s likely that yours have, too. Personally, that’s why I think we hate the coronavirus so much—because we’re disappointed that it’s changing our plans. And it’s okay to be sad about that. Thankfully, we don’t grieve alone.
You have taken account of my wanderings; put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book? (Psalm 56:8 NASB)
No matter how much this COVID-19 pandemic has changed your life, know that God grieves with you. It’s easy to say, “God still has good things planned for you,” or, “Just wait to see what God has in store.” But those things are hard to hear right now. He sees you-—right here and right now.
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