When I Don’t Feel You

If you don’t know it yet, you’ll know it soon. So I might as well tell you now (*big sigh*). I am not a super-Christian.

As a non-super-Christian, there are days (and weeks and months and years) when I don’t feel God. I don’t see Him showing me who He is, or I can’t hear Him when I ask for wisdom. I don’t feel His love, even though His Word says He loves me.

Sometimes, I just feel empty.

Despite what many Christians will tell you (or imply), it’s actually okay to feel empty. You’re not less of a Christian because you can’t see, hear, or feel God right now…even if that “right now” period lasts for a while. It isn’t our job as believers to conjure up emotions that don’t exist.

Obviously, it isn’t okay is to shut our eyes, turn off our ears, or close our hearts toward God. But if we lived our lives based on our emotions, we wouldn’t follow His Word. We would do what we felt like doing, not what we are commanded to do. We do need to be looking for God and listening for Him. But just because He doesn’t seem to be showing us anything doesn’t mean our relationship with Him has changed.

What a lengthy introduction. I just don’t want you to feel like an awful person if your relationship with God currently feels dry or dull. Even when it does feel dull or dry, keep trying to see Him, hear Him, and feel Him. Don’t stop reading the Truth or asking Him to show you the Truth.

But, even if you can’t see, hear, or feel Him, don’t believe the lie that He’s left you. If you belong to Him, you always will.

 

I don’t see You.

I don’t see Your hand in the everyday moments of life.

I don’t see Your heart in the pink sunsets or the blue skies.

I don’t see Your pow’r in the miracles all around me.

I don’t see Your truth in the pages that I often read.

I don’t see You.

 

I don’t hear You.

I don’t hear Your voice when I ask for help and direction.

I don’t hear Your call when I yearn to feel Your affection.

I don’t hear Your thoughts when I tell You why I feel so worn.

I don’t hear Your words when I say I just can’t anymore.

I don’t hear You.

 

I don’t feel You.

I don’t feel Your love when I read Your kind words meant for me.

I don’t feel Your heart when I speak to You so honestly.

I don’t feel Your strength when I pour out my worries and fears.

I don’t feel Your peace when I’m told that You’ve held all my tears.

I don’t feel You.

 

What does this mean?

Does this mean You aren’t there?

Does this mean You don’t care?

Does this mean You have left?

Does this mean You’re upset?

What does this mean?

 

What should I do?

Does this mean I’m alone?

Does this mean I’ve no hope?

Does this mean I’m not Yours?

Does this mean I’ve no more?

What should I do?

 

What’s going on?

Does this mean we are done?

Does this mean we aren’t one?

Does this mean we are through?

Does this mean we aren’t true?

What’s going on?

 

Oh, stop the lies.

When I do not see You, You work in my life nonetheless.

When I do not hear You, You speak to my sin and my mess.

When I do not feel You, You don’t change Your Word or Your mind.

When I can feel nothing, You wait and You give me more time.

Oh, stop the lies.

 

You never change.

When I am weak, You are strong. When I am scared, You are safe.

When I am lost, You don’t move. When I am worn, You don’t leave.

When I am sad, You are joy. When I am hurt, You are calm.

When I am torn, You repair. When I am wrecked, You restore.

You never change.

 

This is the truth.

Whate’er I see and I hear and I feel is subjective.

Your great work is not dependent on what I claim to see.

Your good words are not dependent on what I claim to hear.

Your deep love is not dependent on what I claim to feel.

This is the truth.

 

The grass withers, the flower fades, when the breath of the Lord blows upon it; surely the people are grass. The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever. (Isaiah 40:7-8 NASB)