As a writer, I’ve faced rejection countless times. And while rejection certainly hurts, what often hurts more than rejection is criticism. I’m incredibly sensitive to any and all critiques of my writing, as most writers probably are.
One negative critique of my writing I recently received (which was honestly more like a “Your strength lies more in this area than in this area”) was difficult for me to hear. I knew that my friend who shared this critique with me wasn’t trying to hurt my feelings. But I still felt deflated.
It’s perfectly normal to feel deflated when someone criticizes you (or something that you’ve done). Receiving negative feedback can be really hard, even when the person giving it has the best of intentions. That’s why I want to offer you some guidance on how to receive it well. So friends, here are three biblical ways to deal with criticism:
1. With Humility
I’ve been reading Proverbs in the Bible recently, and I keep noticing the same message: Be willing to learn from others. I’m really bad at that, but I know that through the power of the Holy Spirit, I can do it. And so can you! Truth be told, there are a lot of areas where we can grow, which is why it’s so crucial to be humble (rather than prideful or stubborn) when someone offers criticism—especially when it’s constructive.
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. (Romans 12:16 ESV)
2. Without Spite
Even when someone criticizes you out of his or her own insecurity, jealousy, or malice, it’s still important to respond in love. Take the criticism for what it is (because it might be ridiculously untrue—or there may be a grain of truth in it), and refuse to criticize the criticizer in return. God will reward your forgiveness and grace toward him or her.
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. (Romans 12:17 ESV)
3. With the Desire for Peace
You probably don’t equate the concept of peace with handling negative feedback, but it’s actually super relevant. Though it’s not always possible to live at peace with everyone, that’s what God ultimately desires for us. And that’s what we should desire as well—including when we’re criticized. The initial sting of criticism shouldn’t keep you from trying to maintain a positive relationship with the person who gave it.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. (Romans 12:18 ESV)
Closing Thoughts
Unfortunately, we often tie others’ critiques of us to our identity. As a girl who has received plenty of feedback (both good and bad) about my writing, I understand how easy it is to do that. But I want you to remember something as you handle criticism (1) with humility (2) without spite (3) with the desire for peace: You are not what people say about you. Your identity doesn’t come from anyone’s positive or negative critique of you but rather comes from your Heavenly Father.
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