As I was working at a local coffee shop recently, I noticed a teen girl sitting with her mom and her grandparents. But the girl wasn’t really there. Her eyes were glued to her phone. Although there were plenty of people around her whom she could’ve been engaging with, she chose to disengage.
Unfortunately, this behavior (i.e., phone fixation in social situations) is common for people of all ages. It’s not just a teen girl issue. Even more unfortunately, this behavior is what’s holding us back from making real connections with each other.
Let’s Get Real About the Real
To be honest, I spend way more time online than I should. When I’m staring at a screen, seconds quickly turn into minutes, which quickly turn into hours. It’s easy to pull out my phone to try to escape from the stressful—and the boring—moments of life.
But I’ve also used my phone as an escape mechanism in uncomfortable social situations. Even though I should behave like a mature, confident adult, I often pull out my phone when I want to avoid making eye contact and/or small talk with people. It’s so hard for me to engage in awkward social situations, but it’s important nonetheless. If I refuse to navigate any and all forms of awkwardness, I’ll never be able to connect with people. I’ll never develop friendships with them. I’ll never really know them—and they’ll never really know me.
That’s why I believe our phones are the main thing holding us back from making real connections with people. When we allow ourselves to have unlimited access to our phones, we’ll stay stuck in a loneliness rut. The simple truth is that we can’t make real connections unless we have real conversations—and we can’t have real conversations unless we put real boundaries on our phone usage.
More Than a Connection Issue
Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us. (1 John 4:11-12 NASB1995)
To be honest, I wasn’t sure how to tie in a Bible verse or passage to this post. I know the concept of connection is certainly a biblical concept because God created us as relational beings. He wants to have fellowship with us, and He wants us to have fellowship with one another.
Then I realized something: If we want to make real connections with others, we have to sacrifice something.
In this case, you have to sacrifice your phone—not forever but for a period of time. You may have to wade through some withdrawal (which is totally a thing) or some awkwardness. You may have to bravely approach people and confidently initiate conversations with them. But your sacrifice will be worth it.
Of course, I’m not saying you can never look at your phone while you’re with people. I totally understand that some calls and messages have to be addressed immediately. But Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok can wait.
Friends, your engagement matters to those around you. Be present. Talk. Listen. And love.
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 