Although I definitely want my sisters in Christ to read this post, I have a specific message to share with my brothers in Christ. Honestly, it’s not an easy message for me to share, and it won’t be an easy message for you to read. But I can’t be silent about this issue because—unfortunately—too many Christians are.
In recent years, I’ve noticed an unsettling trend among guys who claim to love the Lord. No, I’m not referring to the rise in porn addictions, though that sin is definitely becoming more prevalent. Before I tell you what trend I’m referring to, I want you to know that this post is meant to build you up, not tear you down. As your sister in Christ, I want to help you live out your calling—and this is a major part of it.
In the Beginning
The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. (Genesis 2:15 ESV)
Brother in Christ, God created you to work. The calling He’s given you to fulfill is the same calling He gave Adam to fulfill. In Eden, fulfilling this calling meant cultivating the garden. Today, it might mean building houses, analyzing data, making sales calls, performing surgeries, managing a restaurant, teaching classes, washing windows, or something else. But the unsettling trend I’ve recently noticed is that fewer and fewer Christian men are willing to fulfill this calling.
Some use school as an excuse, claiming their classes demand too much of their time. Others use unpaid endeavors—such as doing an internship or starting a business or developing a hobby—as an excuse. Still others use a lack of available positions (in a very niche field they want to be in) as an excuse.
I’m not saying it’s wrong to get an education or pursue nonpaying opportunities or desire a job in a specific field. I’m also not saying all Christian men who aren’t working are simply making excuses. I realize there are sicknesses, injuries, and disabilities that may affect their ability to work.
I’m simply saying it’s wrong to prioritize your personal desires over your family’s financial needs. If you don’t fulfill your calling to work—like at a real job with a real paycheck that can really support your family—then your wife will feel like she has to. And honestly, I’ve seen very few situations where that works out well.
The Domino Effect
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18 ESV)
After God made this statement, He created the animals, and Adam gave names to all of them (Genesis 2:19-20). But none of them proved to be a suitable helper for Adam—so God created Eve (Genesis 2:21-25). God didn’t command Eve to cultivate the garden when He created her. After all, that’s what He had commanded Adam to do! Rather, God created Eve to be Adam’s helper.
A marriage in which the wife can’t fulfill her calling to help because she has to fulfill her husband’s calling to work is extremely dysfunctional. After all, she wasn’t designed to fulfill both callings! But bills don’t magically pay themselves, so she may feel like she has to get a job—or even two or three—to pick up her husband’s slack and meet her family’s financial needs.
Is there a reason why this kind of marriage is becoming more and more common? Why are women working so hard and men not working at all? The answer is far simpler than you might expect.
Even Though It’s Hard
And to Adam he [God] said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ‘You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” (Genesis 3:17-19 ESV)
The main reason men don’t work is very straightforward: Work is hard.
This is a consequence of the Fall. When Adam and Eve sinned, the callings God had given them to fulfill were still good callings—but they became difficult to fulfill. No longer would Adam find work enjoyable or easy. Rather, it would be strenuous and frustrating. The same was true for Eve’s calling. Her pain during childbirth would be intense, and her desire would be contrary to Adam (Genesis 3:16).
But no matter how stressful or exhausting or challenging work is for you, you need to do it because God has commanded you to do it.
So to my married brothers in Christ: Get a real job with a real paycheck so you’re able to support your wife and children. To my unmarried brothers in Christ: Get a real job with a real paycheck so you’ll be able to support your future wife and future children. Getting your education, exploring your interests, and chasing your dream job all come second to your calling to work. No matter what kind of “garden” God has given you to cultivate, cultivate it with diligence and faithfulness.
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