Where God's Word Meets My Mess
Sean, I can’t keep waiting for you to notice me. I can’t have you, and I simply have to accept that. I’m mostly hopeful that the future is bright…for both of us. Here are a few things you should know before we part ways.
So I have this problem—a problem of pointless pursuits. Pointless pursuits have kind of been the theme of my life, at least my life in the last few years. I haven’t pursued empty things because people failed to warn me about the consequences. No, ignorance wasn’t the issue. My stubbornness was. But warnings are warnings for a reason. This post is my warning to you.
I know that I recently wrote you a letter about accepting your single status but admitting that singleness is hard. But there’s something else that’s just as important that I need to share with you. I truly believe that you are single. For. A. Reason. So, Single Girl, please find purpose in whatever you do while you wait to date and get married.
Some soon-to-be-college-grads that I know already have plans for the future. They already have a job lined up, or they’ve already met Mr. Right, or they’ve already chosen to further their education. But I don’t have anything set for my life after April. And that scares me.
Even though I haven’t seen that many Hallmark movies, I’ve seen enough to know what the end is going to be: happily ever after. Honestly, Hallmark, you’re deceiving so many women with your cookie-cutter romances. Our expectations for dating and marriage are completely skewed, thanks to you and your sidekick, Disney.
You were sure that this was going to be your year for finding true love. You were determined that you wouldn’t spend this Christmas alone. You thought you would definitely have someone to kiss under the mistletoe in 2020. But you wonder if you’ve lost your chance at finding someone to spend the rest of your life with.
You can skip out on the events, miss the adventures, and avoid the opportunities because maybe just maybe that guy will ask you to go with him. Or you can go to the events, tag along on the adventures, and take advantage of the opportunities because you—as a single individual—still matter and still have a significant purpose to fulfill.
It doesn’t make sense, does it? I know that you’re trying to make sense of why you’re still alone. Why no one has wanted you. Why no one has touched you. Why no one has dared utter your name—except to criticize you or order a cheeseburger and fries combo meal.
You’re not trying to be haughty or self-centered. You just want to know: God, why not me? And God, why her?
While I do believe that women are called to modesty (both in heart and in clothing choices), I also believe there should be a shift away from the idea that lust is a guys-only sin. Because if we treat lust like a guys-only sin, then girls will either not feel convicted of their lust or they will feel alone in their struggle. Neither of those things is okay.
