In Part 1, I admitted that I carried many worries about the future with me throughout college. But I also worried about making friends during college. I wanted to ensure I made “enough” friends, which is honestly a silly thing to worry about because no one can determine how many friends is “enough.” And that’s exactly why I’m writing this post—to encourage you to take the pressure off yourself to make friends and instead trust God to provide.
Not a Competition
I want to make it clear that I’m not encouraging you to become a hermit, refusing to leave your dorm room except to attend your classes. While making a certain number of friends isn’t something you should pressure yourself to do, surrounding yourself with likeminded believers is important (and biblical). Friendships can be very life-giving! Having conversations with others, listening to them, and asking them good questions are all vital things. Not being a hermit—even during finals week—can open up doors for friendships to start.
I’d simply tell my college freshman self this about making friends: “The quality of your friendships matters more than the quantity of your friendships.” The first few months of college were stressful because I wasn’t ready to accept that statement. I felt like I had to follow the unspoken rule that all freshmen need to immediately make tons of friends and maintain those friendships throughout their four years of college.
But that didn’t happen for me. For my first couple years of college, I had very few friends; I mainly had acquaintances. My junior and senior years were a little different. I formed friendships with some freshmen during my junior year, and I actually connected with a few fellow seniors during my senior year.
I’m sure that most students on my college campus had more friends than I did. But that’s okay because friendship isn’t a sports competition. The student with the most friends doesn’t get a trophy on graduation day.
Looking to Our Provider
These [the creatures God has made] all look to you, to give them their food in due season. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are filled with good things. (Psalm 104:27-28 ESV)
Even though I worried about making “enough” friends during my college years, God was gracious to me. He faithfully placed people in my life to encourage me. Just like He provides nourishing food to the creatures He’s made, He provided friends who helped shape me and strengthen me.
I encourage you to continually lift up your desires to God, including your desire for friendships. When the time is right, He’ll provide exactly what (and who) you need. Choose to invest in others and watch Him work. And remember that the number of friends He provides—whether it’s a couple or a hundred—is enough.
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