Until I went to college (hundreds of miles from home), I didn’t truly understand the reality of having friends for a season. But when I left my hometown and started meeting new people at college, I realized how difficult it was to maintain long-distance friendships with my friends back at home. My friends from home and I sometimes stayed in touch, but other friendships fell by the wayside. There were no “friend breakups” or anything dramatic like that. But I definitely had to come to terms with the idea that God sometimes brings people into our lives for a season—and when they leave (or we leave), that’s an opportunity to form friendships with new people instead of a reason to throw a pity party for every single friendship that ends.
Perhaps I’m not very fond of surface-level conversations because, as an introvert, I appreciate connecting with friends on a deep level—like one-on-one meetings at cute coffee shops and after-church conversations that last until the pastor turns out the lights in the sanctuary. Although big gatherings can be intimidating to me, small gatherings are my happy place. I enjoy getting to know people better by asking good questions and by giving good answers to their questions. There are a few characteristics—encouraging, transparent, and Christ-centered—that I believe are essential for having meaningful conversations. Here’s why.
Dear Single Girl, today was a hard day. A really, really, really hard day. Your best friend—who’s been your best friend since kindergarten—got engaged today.
College was a crazy season of life, and I can’t believe that it’s over now. Even though I won’t miss the research papers or exams or presentations, I’ll definitely miss the feeling of community. As a recent grad, I feel like there are so many things that I could tell you about college—not because I know it all but because I made so many mistakes during college that I don’t want you to make! I asked some of my recently graduated friends to share their thoughts as recent college grads, and these are the things that they wanted you to know.
So I have this problem—a problem of pointless pursuits. Pointless pursuits have kind of been the theme of my life, at least my life in the last few years. I haven’t pursued empty things because people failed to warn me about the consequences. No, ignorance wasn’t the issue. My stubbornness was. But warnings are warnings for a reason. This post is my warning to you.
Some soon-to-be-college-grads that I know already have plans for the future. They already have a job lined up, or they’ve already met Mr. Right, or they’ve already chosen to further their education. But I don’t have anything set for my life after April. And that scares me.
I’ve entrusted my heart to way too many people in my life. Thus, way too many people have disappointed me. Although this is difficult to admit, it’s partially our fault when people disappoint us. They can only disappoint us if we put too much faith, hope, or trust in them. No one deserves our hearts except the One who created them and holds them tenderly.
My freshman year was not long ago, and I can relate to your worry. However, I believe it’s possible to worry less about starting college if you don’t put so much pressure on yourself to succeed.
This poem is based on Ruth 1:16-17, which describes Ruth's loyalty to her mother-in-law, Naomi. Even though Ruth had just lost her husband, father-in-law, and brother-in-law, she was still determined not to leave Naomi alone. Her courage and loyalty serve as an example for us in our relationships today.