Sarah Reeves has some songs I like and some songs I dislike, but I think “The Right One” is her best song. I really appreciate the candid advice she shares in it about not settling. Honestly, the fact that she got divorced in 2021 and remarried in 2024 (per Wikipedia) makes me wonder if she wrote it because she didn’t pick the right guy the first time. Maybe she doesn’t want other people to make the same mistake she did. All I know for sure is “The Right One” has the right message.
Same Old Stories
Tired of seeing you beautiful women
Crying ’bout boys ’cause you want their attention
Giving ’em miles when they only give inches
Listen
Move on that trauma bond ain’t the connection
You see those red flags you ain’t gonna fix ’em
You need a man not a good politician
All the love bombs gas lights
Secrets the lies
Problems don’t solve themselves they’re just combined
Yeah I promise you two wrongs they don’t make a right one
You want the right one
The first part of the song is so true and—unfortunately—so prevalent. I’ve watched the girl-desperately-chases-guy-and-he-apathetically-lets-her story unfold many times. It’s not a fun, exciting, or romantic story. Neither is the good-girl-falls-for-bad-guy story.
I understand it’s natural to desire attention and affection from guys. More often than not, I desire attention and affection from the wrong guys—guys who don’t share my interest and/or don’t have character. But deep down, I know I shouldn’t act on my emotions. After all, as Sarah points out, we can’t make guys love us or fix their issues.
Mission Accomplished
Don’t think that exists
Okay settle then
You’ll be married with kids with your 2 out of 10
Wonder if happiness is, or isn’t him
In 2 years you’ll hear it from your therapist
No love bombs or gas light
No secrets no lies
Start looking up for your equal in life
One of those people flying with eagles
You just might find the right one
You want the right one
In the second part of the song, Sarah essentially says, “You can choose to settle. However, you’ll always wonder if you should’ve waited for someone better.” Carrying around regret and being encouraged to end the marriage are very probable consequences of settling.
Personally, I believe the focus (in the Christian culture and the secular culture) needs to shift from getting married to marrying the right people. Even though waiting requires faith and patience, we have to remember what’s true and what’s not true. Being married to someone ≠ the goal. Being married to the right one = the goal.
Not the Right One
He will respect
Not just in it just for sex
He will pursue
He’ll be crazy ’bout you and you’ll know that’s
The right one you want the right one
Who won’t run away from the tough conversations
The right one will have a good reputation
He’s kind and he’s patient
His arms are the safest
He’s worth every day you spent hoping praying waiting
For the right one
He’s out there, the right one
The second chorus is what I really resonate with in the song. I agree with Sarah’s description of the right guy, including the specific characteristics she mentions—from his desire for lifelong companionship (not simply sex) to his willingness to be the pursuer to his solid reputation. And she promises he’s worth the wait.
Honestly, James* lacked several of the characteristics Sarah mentions. As much as I wanted him to be the right guy, he wasn’t. He wasn’t crazy about me, he wasn’t okay with tough conversations, and he wasn’t kind. His arms weren’t the safest (or even moderately safe). He definitely wasn’t worth every day I’d spent hoping, praying, and waiting for the right one.
Yes, It’s Possible
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. (Colossians 3:18-19 ESV)
Although these are instructions for married couples, I believe we can draw an important conclusion for non-married couples from them: If you’re dating someone (or considering dating someone) and you can’t imagine submitting to him—perhaps because he doesn’t love you or treat you well—he’s probably not the right one.
You might remember a post I wrote about this topic in 2023. I haven’t changed my opinion since then. I still believe a satisfying marriage is possible when the wife respects her husband enough to submit to him and the husband loves his wife enough to sacrifice for her.
Ultimately, I think the “The Right One” comes to the same conclusion. Even though it paints a grim picture of what settling looks like, it paints a hopeful picture of what not settling looks like. If you want to have a satisfying marriage, you don’t simply need a good guy—you need the right guy.
*Name has been changed.
Lyrics are from AZ Lyrics. Personally, I recommend watching the lyric video here. “The Right One” is an especially powerful song when the lyrics are combined with the music.
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