Where God's Word Meets Our Mess
From movie reviews to poems to personal reflections, I started writing blog posts to encourage people in their relationships with God. Eventually, I began focusing specifically on reaching young women by sharing my struggles and relevant Bible verses. All along, I’ve wanted to bring readers to the place where God's Word meets their messes—as His Word always meets mine.
My pride says, "Grace, your book could encourage so many young women as they recover from their eating disorders." My pride says, "There's so much potential for your book; you'd be famous if people knew about it." My pride says, "Your book could be a bestseller if only people would let you promote it." But as I focus on my book and my platform and my lack of success, I quickly drown in discouragement. Perhaps I need to focus less on my efforts and focus more on God’s will.
So in response to my Bible reading and my increasing weariness in the post-release season of Real Recovery, I wrote the following angry words in prayer: Dear God, as You know, it’s really frustrating to know that You can do BEYOND ALL THAT I ASK OR THINK yet You’ve done so much less than I asked or thought.
There’s now a checkmark next to “write a book” and “become a published author,” but there’s not yet a checkmark next to “find success.” I realize that success is a subjective concept, so here’s my version of it: being a well-known, well-loved published author. And I haven't found that success yet.
You want to walk away from _____ situation, but you choose to stay. Why? I believe the answer to that question is fear. These are two of the main fears that keep us in a rut and keep us from experiencing real freedom.
Still, I wanted to open up about why I wrote this book. I feel like the why behind a book is sometimes just as important as the what inside a book. Why did I specifically choose to write Real Recovery? Here are two of the main reasons.
When other people ask you how you’re doing, you enjoy telling them, “Oh, I’m good—busy as usual.” You have the appearance of a go-getter, which you secretly love. And you always feel good about yourself when you complete the tasks on your to-do list. But all of a sudden—at least it feels sudden—you reach your breaking point.
Well, my dream finally came true this year. In July, I signed my first book contract. I’m a published author now. Yet this season of life actually feels unexpectedly anticlimactic.
So when we have to make a morally neutral decision (i.e., a decision that's neither moral nor immoral), we panic. I believe that in wanting to follow God’s will for our lives, we’ve gone from one extreme to the other—not caring what God thinks about our decisions to being terrified that God will despise the decisions that we make. What if there’s a balance between both of those extremes?
