By now, you probably know the Tizzie’s Tidbits of Truth origin story, so I’ll just share the short version in case you’re new to TTT. I started a blog seven years ago with the hope that it would someday lead to me getting a book deal. I longed to see my name on the front cover of a book (preferably on the cover of a New York Times Best Seller).
From movie reviews to poems to personal reflections, I started writing blog posts to encourage people in their relationship with God. Eventually, I began focusing specifically on meeting young women in their struggles by sharing mine and sharing Scripture. All along, I’ve wanted to bring readers to the place where God’s Word meets their messes—as His Word always meets mine.
Everything I Thought I Wanted
And on February 22, 2022, the very thing that I believed to be the purpose of my existence—having a published book—became a reality. It was a day that I had been waiting for since childhood. After lots of prayers (and rejection emails), I could finally say that I was a published author.
But to be completely honest with you, I’ve felt so much discouragement since February 22, 2022. In spite of signing the book contract, holding my book with my own two hands, and sharing my story with groups of all shapes and sizes, it still doesn’t feel like enough. The publication of my book—and the podcasting, speaking, and writing opportunities that have resulted from it—has only increased the insecurity in my heart.
Wasn’t this supposed to be the thing that exhilarated me and made me feel fulfilled?
Now I have the self-imposed pressure to write a second book. To get a second book deal. To be the author of two New York Times Best Sellers. The words “more, more, more” constantly echo in my head, but I never hear “enough, enough, enough.”
Chances are, you’ve had a dream for a long time. Perhaps you’ve put a lot of time, money, and effort into making your dream come true. You truly believe that once your dream becomes a reality, you won’t feel this sense of insecurity anymore; instead, you’ll feel like you’ve truly “arrived.” I don’t know if you’ve reached that place yet—that place of achievement and “arrival.” But whether you have or not, I want to encourage you (and myself!) with this…
Nothing Is Wasted
Then Mordecai told them to reply to Esther, “Do not imagine that you in the king’s palace can escape any more than all the Jews. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place and you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not attained royalty for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:13-14 NASB1995)
I love Mordecai’s candidness to Esther in this passage. He basically wants to convey to her (note my paraphrase): “I know you’re the queen, but that doesn’t mean that you’re an exception to the king’s edict about the destruction of the Jews. God can use someone else to deliver His people from destruction, but what if He brought you to the palace for this reason—to save the Jews?”
This passage felt perfect to include in this post because I was recently talking with my mom about feeling discouraged, especially since my book released, and I worriedly expressed to her, “What if God just had me write this book to help one struggling person?” She quickly said, “Then it was worth it.” And “coincidentally,” God used another family member and a friend of mine to speak essentially the same truth to me that my mom had spoken to me—that even if my book only impacts one struggling person, then every bit of discouragement and frustration that I’ve felt this year has been well worth it.
Sure, I want people to tell me, “Oh, Grace, I’m sure that millions of people have read your book and that we’ll see your name on the New York Times Best Sellers list very soon.” But truth be told, as God has shown me through His Word and the words of people who love me, I have no reason to be discouraged or discontented. Because writing this book—and writing in general—serves a far greater purpose than making me a famous author.
God’s aim is not to make our names known; it’s to make His name known. I truly believe that although He can make our dreams come true, the reason that He makes our dreams come true is because He can use them to expand His kingdom and build up His Church. And if He can use your musical talents, photography aspirations, love of cooking, interest in sports, passion for decorating, or any other dreams and desires you have in order to bring even one person to Him, then I believe He will.
And that, friends, is enough.