Where God's Word Meets Our Mess
For the past nine months, I’ve felt trapped in a specific moment—the moment James* turned his back on me. I realize most people have experienced much harder things in life, but I’m still dealing with the sting of rejection and the internal what-if-he-hadn’t-rejected-me questions. Psalm 69 (part of which is included below) reminds me that the Lord is a mighty deliverer who can save His children from the mire—or the moments—where they feel helpless and hopeless.
Last night, I had a dream that James* was married—but not to me. He was married to the girl he started dating approximately five seconds after he ghosted me. It was strange to see him wearing a gold wedding band in my dream. But frankly, I’m glad I’m not the one who gave it to him.
Chemistry is a concept that generally feels abstract and mysterious. It often involves people’s appearances, but it can also involve their personality types, their communication styles, and other aspects of who they are. Though it’s not very concrete, I believe it’s more significant than many Christians think.
Honestly, I’m not saying cynicism is a bad thing. I actually advocate it to some degree because biblical principles like wisdom often accompany it. However, I realize cynicism can result in callousness, so I want to approach the topic of guarding our hearts with that in mind. Here are a couple ways to take a cautious—but not cold—approach to romantic relationships.
I’ve seen it more times than I can count—the girl who decides to take matters into her own hands when she loves a guy who’s ambivalent toward her or even uninterested in her. She makes excuses for his lack of initiation, claiming he’s just too nervous or too shy to take the lead. So she takes the lead instead. She seeks him out, talks to him, flirts with him, texts him, and asks him out. But deep down, it’s unsatisfying because she wants what every girl wants—to be chased.
I’m not going to sugarcoat it: Being ghosted is hard. The rejection combined with the lack of closure makes it a very unfun experience. It definitely happens on dating apps, but yours truly can attest that (unfortunately) it also happens beyond the dating apps. No matter how you were ghosted, though, I want you to know you can get through it. In last week’s post, I shared two radical truths to help you process the experience and move forward. Here are a few more radical truths you should also keep in mind.
I know James isn’t the right guy for me (or even a good guy in general), but it’s been super hard to get over him and what he’s done to me. Perhaps you, too, have been ghosted and can’t seem to move on. I completely understand your struggle, and I have five hope-filled truths to share with you during this post-ghost season that might surprise you.
“Thank God” and “The Good Ones” are a couple songs by Gabby Barrett that I really like. However, I’m not a fan of “I Hope.” The song’s lyrics—and Gabby’s tone while she sings them—reek of bitterness and contempt. Ironically, “I Hope” isn’t very hopeful at all.
Let’s say you meet a guy who professes to follow Jesus. He seems to have some great qualities, so when he asks you out, you say yes. You go out with him a few times, and you enjoy getting to know him. But you notice something about him that isn’t so great, and you wonder if perhaps he’s not as ready to date as you thought he was. Is it one of these five things?
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 