Where God's Word Meets Our Mess
So in response to my Bible reading and my increasing weariness in the post-release season of Real Recovery, I wrote the following angry words in prayer: Dear God, as You know, it’s really frustrating to know that You can do BEYOND ALL THAT I ASK OR THINK yet You’ve done so much less than I asked or thought.
If you think you’re the only one who can’t find the Christmas spirit—at least, the Christmas spirit that's described in Hallmark movies and pop songs—know that you're not. This time of year is emotionally challenging for many, many people. Still, no matter how you feel this Christmas, the truth hasn't changed.
And you promised her that you would. So you did. You felt your grief, stopped avoiding your frustration, sat in your discomfort, and faced your pain. But you didn’t feel any better. Instead, you felt more upset and more hopeless than you did before. Why? Because your therapist didn’t tell you what to do after you had faced your difficult emotions—but I’m going to.
Friends, I know from personal experience that singleness isn't easy. It's nobody's fault that you're un-dated, un-engaged, or un-married. But patience isn't becoming easier. Instead, feelings of loneliness, disappointment, curiosity, and fear are becoming easier. What's a girl to do with these unpleasant emotions?
You hear all the cheery greetings. You read them on cards, see them on decorations, and hear them in songs. And you feel all the emotions—both good and bad—that are attached to them.
If you grew up in church, you’ve probably heard the song “Amazing Grace” more times than you can count. It’s definitely a staple hymn, yet there have been so many versions and renditions of it produced. Honestly, over the years, the words of this hymn have lost their meaning for me. Actually, the words never really felt meaningful to me.
Even though I wrote a post about unfulfilled longings recently, I deleted it because I was scared. I thought that I didn’t have enough Bible verses to back up my main points, and I feared the errancy in my words. Though I made the post disappear, my unsatisfied longings didn’t disappear. The deep-in-my-soul aches persisted. But so did He.
I wrote the following words from the perspective of our Heavenly Father. Of course, I'm not trying to put words in His mouth or add to the Bible. These words are just my ideas of what He might tell you if you're feeling...
As my friends sort through their romantic relationships—whether they're married, engaged, dating, or almost-dating—I sort through my feelings of emptiness, loneliness, and despair. I cling to my unwantedness. It feels wrong to cling so tightly to such an ugly feeling, but I can’t seem to let it go. I simply want to know this: Am I wanted?
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 