Where God's Word Meets Our Mess
But even though I didn't meet my future husband at college, I don't regret not chasing guys while I was there. I know that singleness was the best thing for me then—and is the best thing for me right now—because I believe God's timing for my life is good. And I believe the same thing about His timing for yours, Single Girl.
Even though I haven’t dated anyone, I’ve still had several broken hearts. It feels like unrequited love (i.e., falling for someone who doesn’t share my feelings) has been the theme of my single years. I’ve learned that having a formal relationship isn’t a prerequisite for getting a broken heart. Unfortunately, it’s incredibly easy to get one. If you’ve found that to be true too, this post is for you.
I don't have a problem with single girls hanging out with fellow single girls on Valentine's Day. In fact, that can be a great way to spend the holiday! I just have a problem with the message of Galentine's Day, which is this: You don't need a guy; you just need your gal pals. (Hence the name Galentine's Day—emphasis on gal).
Even though I’m not in college anymore, you and I have more in common than you might expect. First, I’ve always been an introvert; so I understand how valuable your alone time is. Second, a few years ago, I was in college—specifically, a small Christian college that was a 10-hour drive from home. I missed my family, I was scared of making friends, and I was too concerned about my grades. (Yeah, #Classic Introverted Freshman.) But in hindsight, I can see so many things I should’ve done differently in college—and this post is my friendly warning to you: Don’t do what I did.
Single Girl, I realize there are few things in this life as scary as entering adulthood without a significant other. An adoring husband, two to five children, and a quaint little cottage—not a career—are the only things you’ve ever wanted for your life. Yet here you are—perhaps just a few days, weeks, or months from stepping into adulthood—with no husband, no children, and no home. Just a half-written cover letter and an empty resume.
I know that being single can make you feel like you’re living on an island sometimes—like there’s no one who really “gets” you except for your cat and your Spotify playlist. You have to push yourself to do any social activities because all you really want to do is stay at home. But constantly staying at home is a really lonely existence—especially for a single girl. That’s why it’s so important to find a church that fits you and to get involved in it.
2023, I realize that you may hold a million new opportunities. Oh, how I hope so. I could meet an amazing guy, fall in love, and get married. A huge book publisher could reach out to me and ask me to write a new book. Podcasters, bloggers, authors, speakers, and other influential individuals from around the world could invite me to share my story for their audiences. I should be hopeful about your arrival, not scared. So why can’t I seem to shake this fear?
Let’s rewind a few years, shall we? I know you can remember it. I was a sophomore in high school trying to figure out her college plans, wanting to grow in her writing craft, and internally panicking about what was ahead. I was very involved in church—participating in youth group, Awana, Sunday school, and music ministry. I was taking classes at a local homeschool group alongside other homeschoolers. And even though I wasn’t exactly sure how I would get there, I knew that I wanted to be a published author. It had really been my only dream since I was a little girl. But you were willing to do anything and everything to make sure that that dream didn’t become a reality.
I don’t judge you for any excuse that you’ve made in a desperate attempt to stay inside your comfort zone, but I want you to know that it’s really challenging to meet guys (and do other important things—life's not all about guys) if you stay inside your comfort zone. Don’t miss the opportunities in front of you simply because they might make you feel a bit uncomfy.
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 