Dear Single Girl, Get Outside Your Comfort Zone

Dear Single Girl,

I understand this might be a hard post to read, especially if you’re an introvert like me. I hate when people tell me that I need to get outside my comfort zone, but the places beyond my comfort zone are often where I end up thriving. The same is probably true for you, right? (It’s okay if it’s really hard to admit—I don’t like admitting it either.)

But I’ve noticed an unfortunate trend of single girls creating a large comfort zone around themselves. Know what I mean? Maybe you leave as soon as the wedding reception starts because you’re anxious about heading to the dance floor alone. Or maybe you only go to the Sunday morning service at church because you’d rather not try a small group by yourself. Or maybe you spend every single Saturday night in front of your phone or TV because you just don’t feel like going out to dinner with friends.

Single Girl, I don’t judge you for any excuse that you’ve made in a desperate attempt to stay inside your comfort zone. But I want you to know that it’s really challenging to meet guys (and do other important things–life’s not all about guys) if you stay inside your comfort zone. Please don’t miss the opportunities in front of you simply because they might make you feel a bit un-comfy.

What I’m Not Saying

Single Girl, maybe I should explain my point—I don’t want you to misunderstand me when I say that it’s really challenging to meet guys if you stay inside your comfort zone. Your aim in life shouldn’t be to meet Prince Charming. That’s not a worthwhile purpose to have in life, right?

On a similar note, I’m not encouraging you to pursue guys or stalk them in any way, shape, or form. Let them pursue you, okay? It’s so beautiful when I see guys pursuing girls, and I don’t want you to miss out on being pursued.

And of course I’m not saying that you can never spend time alone or do things that you’re comfortable with. Personally, this introvert needs some alone time. I have habits that bring me comfort, and it’ okay to have those!

What I’m Definitely Saying

But, Single Girl, with that said, I don’t want you to miss the main point of this post—that you’re not going to meet Prince Charming if you stay inside your home all the time and never get out and do stuff. I completely understand that your home is warm, cozy, and comfy and that the outside world can be cold, scary, and un-comfy. But in that often-intimidating outside world, there might just be a super special guy who will love you until death do you part.  

Maybe he’s at that wedding reception that you’re anxious about staying for. Or maybe he’s in that small group that you don’t want to try by yourself. Or maybe he’s at that restaurant that you’re reluctant to go to with your friends. You never know where you could meet your future husband, which is exactly why I encourage you to make yourself available—not so you can search for him and chase him once you think you’ve found him—but so you can have opportunities to be found.

There aren’t many good things that come from staying inside your comfort zone—apathy, loneliness, and self-centeredness often result from too much time there. But when you choose to be brave and get outside your comfort zone, remember that you aren’t alone and that God goes with you. You might just find some unexpected but incredible freedom—and you might meet someone special out there who was worth leaving your comfort zone for.

When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul. (Psalm 94:19 NASB1995)