I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 18 years old. There was nothing magical about the age of 18, but my parents thought that it was a reasonable age for me to start a relationship that would potentially lead to marriage. Little did I know as a young, naïve teenager that I would still be completely single (i.e., un-dated, un-engaged, and unmarried) several years after that.
I didn’t think that life would turn out this way. I thought that I was a fun, pretty, and sweet Christian girl. So why is this happening to me? Why am I still single?
Not Exactly
This is the perfect opportunity for me to make up a great story about how I’m cherishing my single life and how I don’t need a man. I just need my career…or gal pals…or Jesus. Right?
That may sound blasphemous, but that’s not my intent. I’m simply mocking the excuses that some people make for why they’re still single. Their excuses are pretty amusing.
I could say that I’m still single because I like being alone. I enjoy being able to pick what I want to watch on TV, choosing where I want to eat dinner, and driving at my own speed. I enjoy having my own job, my own car, and my own life goals. Why do I need a man when I have myself?
I could also say that I’m still single because I have enough love from other people. I have a family that sacrifices for me, friends who care about me, and a church family that’s willing to help me. I enjoy spending time with my family, chatting with my girlfriends, and being involved in church activities. Why do I need a man when I have family and friends?
I could even say that I’m still single because I’m on a “fast” from guys. I want to grow closer to Jesus, learn more about who He is, and fall in love with Him. I want to forget about guys, focus on how much Jesus loves me, and give up marriage if He asks me to. Why do I need a man when I have Jesus?
The Real Reason
But none of those reasons are the real reasons that I’m still single. The truth isn’t nearly as complicated. The real reason that I’m still single is because no one has ever asked me out on a date.
I could claim one of the previously mentioned excuses—I’m simply too independent, I’ve got enough love in my life, or I’m too spiritual to fall in love with a guy. Or I could be honest. I’m choosing to be honest, and I hope that you’ll choose to be honest, too.
As much as some single girls may want you to believe that they have it all together. they don’t. We’re not more spiritual than people who are dating, engaged, or married. And Jesus doesn’t love us more because we’re single.
Just like my married brothers and sisters in Christ, I struggle with sin. I feel dissatisfied with certain aspects of my life. I give into despair when life doesn’t turn out how I’d planned. It doesn’t matter whether we’ve never had a romantic relationship or been married for 50 years—we’re all human.
Even though I’ve never dated, I do desire to date. I want to get married. I look forward to having sex. And if you desire those things also, remember that there’s nothing unspiritual about your desires.
Closing Thoughts
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. (Romans 12:9-13 ESV)
Friends, we’re all in this together. Single people aren’t holier than married people (and vice versa). We don’t need to pretend that we don’t hope to get married. The best way to love each other is genuinely. Let’s be willing to be real about how we feel with our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 