Dear Single Girl,
I don’t want you to skim over this letter. No matter how disgusted, discouraged, or disenchanted you’re feeling right now, please don’t just skim over this letter. Let the words sink in. I want to speak to your heart as best as I can.
Don’t worry—I’m not going to tell you that you’re loved or wanted or valuable whether you have a boyfriend or not. You’ve heard those things a hundred times and already know that those things are true. Instead, I’m going to tell you that it’s okay to cry, vent, and even scream if you need to. But I also want you to exhale.
What You Didn’t Expect
It doesn’t make sense, does it? I know that you’re trying to make sense of why you’re still alone. Why no one has wanted you. Why no one has dared utter your name—except to criticize you or whisper about you behind your back.
You’re not trying to be haughty or self-centered. You just want to know, “God, why not me? And God, why her and her and her?”
Why does your best friend have a boyfriend but you don’t? Why did your younger sister get married before you even went on your first date? Why does every movie show 14-year-olds kissing yet no one has even wanted to kiss you?
Some days, you feel like you can conquer the world all alone. You get good grades. You excel in sports. You have a supervisory role at work. You earn a big paycheck. You help with the children’s ministry at church. You rock the new car or the new hairdo or the new apartment. All by yourself.
But other days—perhaps more days than you care to admit—you feel like you can’t even conquer the dishes. Your body is numb with loneliness, depression, and fear. Your heart is broken from the fact that you’ve never truly experienced a broken heart because you’ve never had a boyfriend.
People say that the clock is ticking. Friend after friend seems to get swept off into marital bliss. You didn’t think you’d actually be the one who’s always the bridesmaid but never the bride. You thought that an ugly, miserable girl would end up with that role. But the ugly, miserable girl already got married.
The Unmet Expectations
When you were in high school, you had incredibly high expectations for your love life. You thought that as soon as you were allowed to date, you’d have to turn down a long line of guys waiting at your doorstep. You assumed that your favorite neighbor, your popular classmate, and your cute lab partner would all beg you to go to prom with them. You predicted that by your 21st birthday, you’d be engaged.
But the doorbell never rang. The prom date never happened. The “ring by spring” was never placed on your finger.
So what now? What should you do with this overwhelming loneliness? Where can you put all these crushed expectations? How can you be hopeful when the only emotion you feel is disappointed?
The One Who Never Disappoints
In You our fathers trusted; they trusted and You rescued them. To You they cried out and they fled to safety; in You they trusted and were not disappointed. (Psalm 22:4-5 NASB)
Maybe you were disappointed by that boy in kindergarten who wouldn’t stand next to you in line. Or perhaps you were disappointed by that boy in third grade who wouldn’t hold your hand to pray in Sunday school. Or maybe you were disappointed by that classmate who wouldn’t ask you to the school dance in 11th grade, even though you were the only one without a date.
Single Girl, Jesus never ever disappoints. I know that He isn’t the same as a boyfriend. But honestly, He’s so much better. No matter how many times the guys in your life have disappointed you—whether it’s by not noticing you, not asking you out, or even shunning you—Jesus has never disappointed you and never will.
I want to end this post by encouraging you to tell Jesus exactly how you feel—no matter how hard it is. Give Him your loneliness and unfulfilled longings. You don’t have to wait for Him to get His act together or to step up His game or to work up enough courage to tell you how He feels. He’s already here, and He’s already told you. It’s your turn.
Tizzie's Tidbits of Truth 