Dear Single Girl,
Perhaps you’ve never said it out loud, but deep down, you’re completely terrified to enter adulthood.
If I enter adulthood as a single woman, I’ll be single until the day I die. I just know it!
All my friends have boyfriends at the very least—and some of them have husbands. What if I’m the last one to get married?
Where the heck am I going to meet my future husband? The number of guys I interact with on a daily basis is about to decrease from hundreds to, like, four.
Single Girl, I realize there are few things in this life as scary as entering adulthood without a significant other. An adoring husband, two to five children, and a quaint little cottage—not a career—are the only things you’ve ever wanted for your life. Yet here you are—perhaps just a few days, weeks, or months from stepping into adulthood—with no husband, no children, and no home. Just a half-written cover letter and an empty resume.
“A” for Effort
Single Girl, I know how hard you tried to keep this from happening to you. Once you graduated from high school, you headed off to college with high hopes of meeting Prince Charming. And day after day, you told yourself the same thing: “If I participate in _____ ministry or on _____ team or in _____ club, I’m going to meet him.”
So you did—you participated. You consistently showed up to meetings, practices, and events. And although many of your peers ended up pairing off, you didn’t.
You’re proud of earning a degree, but you’re also unsure about literally everything that will happen after you walk across the stage at graduation.
What the Solution Isn’t
When I graduated from college, I was totally single—no boyfriend, no fiancé, no husband. There weren’t even any guys I was “talking” with or “friends” with. Thankfully, I was able to go home to a loving, supportive family—but I still felt alone.
I could’ve done what Grace Bennett (aka Selena Gomez) did in Monte Carlo when she graduated from high school: take an international trip to find myself and—fingers crossed—meet a guy as handsome as Theo (aka Pierre Boulanger). Honestly, that’s what many single girls do—go on mission trips, find internships, travel abroad, or even pursue graduate degrees, all the while claiming they just want to find out who they are.
But I’d argue they already know who they are: scared single young women who are about to enter adulthood without husbands (or even potential husbands). And they believe that if they put adulthood on hold, they won’t have to enter it alone.
What the Solution Is
But you don’t enter adulthood alone, Single Girl; you enter it with the “the Father of mercies and God of all comfort” (1 Corinthians 1:3 NASB1995). God. Is. With. You.
No, I don’t know your motives for wanting to try new things, further your education, or experience a different culture. But unless there’s a very specific reason you want to put adulthood on hold and you genuinely believe God is calling you to put it on hold, then it’s time to rip off the Band-Aid.
I say that in love, not conceitedly or judgmentally. I know exactly how it feels to enter adulthood as a single young woman. To be honest, I wish I wasn’t single at this point in my life.
But this is where God wants me to be, at least for now. He’s never left me, and He’ll never leave you. So even if you enter adulthood completely single like I did, there’s no legitimate reason to be afraid. Take courage, Single Girl.
O love the Lord, all you His godly ones! The Lord preserves the faithful and fully recompenses the proud doer. Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the Lord. (Psalm 31:23-24 NASB1995)
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